Ten Things You Didn’t Know About The Gang at Long Awkward Pause
Thanks for this list from The Hook at You’ve Been Hooked!
2) Despite being a formidable team, the gang rarely gets together in person. At least not since the time they started that riot at that TGI Friday’s in New Jersey….
3) On those rare occasions when they do convene a full meeting of their membership, the gang takes turns administering Katie Holmes’ “happy medicine” – and they always keep a tranquilizer gun close by. Just in case.
4) An event known only as “That time Ned hooked me up with his crazy therapist and I woke up in Jersey with bus fare taped to my nipples” led to Singlegirlie’s decision to refuse to allow anyone else at LAP to set her up on any more blind dates.
5) Despite his nom de guerre, Chowderhead is not actually an accomplished chef. His last gastrointestinal “masterpiece” left the gang confined to their respective toilets for three days. (In his defense, no one told Adam you couldn’t mail fish.)
6) In spite of their collective monicker, the LAP gang simply… won’t… shut… up.
7) Their Christmas CD, “Yule Nuts For The Whole Family”, tanked.
8) Despite the many, many attempts by one of their members, the gang refuses to rename LAP and switch their focus to all things Barry Manilow. (Sorry, Ned, keep trying, buddy.)
9) As a result of Aussa Lorens’ best efforts, the LAP team are now the world’s foremost black ops team in the free world. Unfortunately, they only utilize their skills to hack Netflix accounts and terrorize Justin Bieber into performing private shows…
10) They’re all decent, hard-working people. (Yeah, I didn’t believe it either.)