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So….Got Any Big Plans for the Weekend?

February 12, 2016 // 7 Comments

You almost forgot again, didn’t you? Well, never mind, you’ve just got time. Stop what you’re doing, before it’s too late. Clear your schedule. Have you taken care of dinner? Are you wearing the right clothes? Be sure that you’ve carefully set the mood, down to the last detail. You can’t afford to screw this [Click For More]

Ode to Mountain Dew

February 8, 2016 // 13 Comments

According to Wikipedia, in 1940 two Tennessee beverage bottlers named Barney and Ally Hartman invented the formula for Mountain Dew.  Below is my tribute to those two fine men: I walked into the 7-11 and quickly made my way to the back of the store where the drink coolers are located.  Immediately, I could see it staring back at me. The [Click For More]

LAP’s Cooking Playlist

February 1, 2016 // 12 Comments

  I have two major passions in my life. Oops, forgot about the kids – make that THREE major passions in my life.   But this isn’t a mommy blog, so you’re stuck with the other two. The first is food.  Pretty obvious considering my blogging name, right? I love making food, eating other food that people made for me, reading about food, [Click For More]

Eclectic; A Hipster Conversation

January 22, 2016 // 14 Comments

byline: Jude the Hipster Eclectic; a hipster conversation From the Merriam Webster online dictionary- ECLECTIC: (n) one who uses a method or approach that is composed of elements drawn from various sources; one who uses an eclectic method or approach. For the most part, people who use the term “eclectic” really piss me off.  Generally, people [Click For More]

Men That Cannot Get Laid

January 18, 2016 // 23 Comments

Have you ever met a straight man and thought to yourself…hmmmmmmmmmmm the only vagina you have ever seen was the one that you gave you life? The reason why they are not dating, or having any sort of a sexual relationship with a woman is because they lack communication skills. Period. End of story. Some men just do not get the concept of how to [Click For More]

2016: We Aren’t Potty Trained

January 14, 2016 // 11 Comments

2015 has come and is gone the way of anyone’s intestines after a two-hour long Indian food fest: down the drain, hopefully without the help of a plunger or a plumber. Let me further this metaphor, and I apologize ahead of time if you are currently eating. Let’s imagine that each year represents a pair of underwear in America’s [Click For More]

Handmade Is The New Sexy

January 11, 2016 // 13 Comments

We all received that special gift this past holiday. The one that someone close to you formed out of earthly elements or with wool sheared from an exotic animal. Exotic to you if you’ve never been closer to a sheep than the ones on your onesie your husband bought you as a joke but that you secretly love because it’s got a poop shoot. [Click For More]

Canada turns to LAP to broker peace with U.S.

January 7, 2016 // 36 Comments

                                                Special Report ALBERTA, Canada — In an unprecedented move aimed at easing tensions between the U.S. and Canada following Justin Bieber’s request for permanent U.S. citizenship, Canadian officials have agreed to what they are calling a “mutually offensive [Click For More]

General Tso, who are you?

January 4, 2016 // 7 Comments

General Tso, who are you? Wikepedia describes you as a general who lived in Xiangyin during the 1800’s, yet the dish named after you was never eaten there, nor anywhere else near your city. What gives General? Who are you General? The world wants to know. The “chef’s special” wants to know. The mall food court wants to know who you are. I [Click For More]

LAP TV: Yelp Reviews!

December 28, 2015 // 5 Comments

This is the first episode of this series; it will definitely get better. I am still learning about writing comedic material, and shooting. So bear with me, but this first episode focuses on Yelp and some reviews that were a bit over the top. There will be more episodes soon to follow. This initial episode focuses on Denny’s. I hope you enjoy [Click For More]
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