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Thanks for the help, Google, but you can stop now

August 4, 2014 // 123 Comments

The Internet is a wonderful, magical place filled with mountains of information on every subject you could possibly imagine, but let’s face it: somebody needs to tell Google that there are some things we just don’t want to know. Take, for example, a recent conversation I had with my gracefully-aging but non-net-savvy father about a pair of [Click For More]

This Week I Learned

July 3, 2014 // 38 Comments

Troy aka Ad-libbed was supposed to post today but went into the hospital for emergency kidney surgery. He is doing well, but will have to stay in the hospital for a couple of days and get his fill of red jello. Please send him some well wishes in the comments section below. In the meantime… has this great feature called: Today I [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Animal Photo Bombs

June 14, 2014 // 57 Comments

 ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ The world is divided up into two categories: Animal Lovers and Animal Haters. The Animal Lovers enjoy all sorts of living creatures. They like the furry ones. They like the slimy ones. They like them in the yard, they like them in the car. [Click For More]

Daytime TV: Stealing Your IQ Points One Channel At A Time

June 4, 2014 // 36 Comments

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Occasionally I leave the office and eat my lunch at home. I get to spend an hour away from the LAP compound (where the microwave still hasn’t been repaired since Chowderhead’s famous Chef Boyardee incident) [Editor’s Note:  it was [Click For More]

Purging Facebook Friends: Psychological Warfare At Its Finest

May 2, 2014 // 50 Comments

Deep in the bunkers here at the Long Awkward Pause Command Post, we often receive emails from helpful readers who alert our crack team of investigative journalists to important breaking news stories. In accordance with our strict standards of journalistic integrity, we carefully review every submission, especially the ones that contain Starbucks [Click For More]