Latest And Greatest

April 2014

7 Must-See Commercial Parodies

April 30, 2014 // 32 Comments

  Jean-Claude Van Damme Volvo Commercial In what can only be considered the work of marketing geniuses, Volvo found a way to equate the most epic of splits with precision steering. And who better to take on the daunting task of traveling spread eagle between two moving semi-trucks than Jean-Claude Van Damme? With “a pair of legs engineered [Click For More]

Burn Gingers And Save The Planet!

April 27, 2014 // 31 Comments

Everybody please welcome guest speaker Jim O’Sullivan from GingerFightBack.com.  On Jim’s page you will find gingers, poetry, nonsense, red hair, hope, and sausages. Not necessarily in that order. Jim is a great friend of LAP so be sure to check out his site. Also, if you are a ginger and are having trouble with bullies, Jim has some [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Making Tough Brand Choices

April 26, 2014 // 47 Comments

We like choices. However, choices sometimes divide us as a nation, a culture, and a people. That can be good or that can be very, very  bad.  But that’s ok, as long as we keep it friendly, right? There is no reason that Ford people can’t get along with Chevy people right? Think about it…essentially when it comes down  to the [Click For More]

Revisiting Classic Comic Book Adverts (Part One)

April 25, 2014 // 28 Comments

I have been a fan of comic books since forever, but they have evolved over the years and not always for the better. For instance, in the 1970’s and early 1980’s comic books were a treasure trove of some of the greatest advertisements ever conceived by man. Now thanks to the internet, we don’t get ads for x-ray specs anymore. Who needs x-ray [Click For More]

Talking in Circles with Circle Talkers

April 23, 2014 // 79 Comments

What’s up? It’s an easy question that should illicit a straightforward and immediate reply. In fact, “not much” would be adequate enough, because that would mean that the conversation is now over and we can all move on with our lives with a sense of closure in regard to the initial inquiry into your present state of affairs. Most normal [Click For More]

A tour through my album collection

April 21, 2014 // 78 Comments

Growing up, dear children, I was not aloud to listen to Rock ‘n’ Roll Music. My father would say to me, “Monk, m’boy, if I ever see you listening to Rock ‘n’ Roll Music, I’ll slit yer face.” And so, dear, children, I never did… But in the late 1980s, something amazing happened. First, I left [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Funny Pickup Line Memes

April 19, 2014 // 30 Comments

How to pick up woman throughout the ages: A brief look: (For the sake of one single solitary joke) Caveman: With A Club 1970s: At A Club Today, online is the place to meet people, which is good and fine, but loses the art of the pickup line. That is a shame, because men have been working on the pickup line ever since they realized that their [Click For More]

The Bullet Points

April 18, 2014 // 59 Comments

It’s time once again to wake Rants up way too early. deny him his coffee and bacon, and throw today’s headlines at him to get his take on the top stories. Did I mention that we have to wear one of those protective suits that attack dogs practice on? Did I mention we all have to leave the office and lock the door behind us? Did I [Click For More]

Over the Line Show #4 with Comedian Mike Birbiglia

April 17, 2014 // 1 Comment

On Today’s Show:  Special Guest Comedian Mike Birbiglia A Comedian, author, actor and playwright Mike had a hugely successful one-man show Sleepwalk With Me, a mixture of comedy and confession. For tour information check out his web site: here. You can download the episode or listen on the Podomatic App here: This show is in the [Click For More]

What Your Boss Can Learn From Bruce Springsteen

April 16, 2014 // 21 Comments

Last weekend I was on a road trip with my son. We went to Virginia Beach to see Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band. This was somewhere around my eleventy-seventh Bruce show since the 1980’s; it was my son’s first. This trip was something we’ve talked about for a long time. One of the things I promised when we were talking [Click For More]

11 Hypothetical Breakups You Might Actually Care About

April 14, 2014 // 82 Comments

By now you’ve probably heard the news that Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are “consciously uncoupling” (which is trendy, new-age speak for “splitting up”) after 10 years of marriage. By now you’ve also probably forgotten all about it because not one part of you remotely cares. Gwyneth Paltrow is awful, and Coldplay is overrated. [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: The Truth Behind Job Titles

April 12, 2014 // 35 Comments

  So… You are sitting there in your cubicle, and John the Vice President of Social Advertising Media and Sales has walked by you five times now. The last time he walked by, he was wiping jelly doughnut from his tie with a single square of toilet paper. He now sits in his glass walled private office, which you can also see clearly from your [Click For More]

51 Things You’re Thinking On Your Morning Commute

April 9, 2014 // 62 Comments

Universal Thoughts 1. UGGGGHHH I’m so tired. Why did I have to stay up so late watching Conan/taking BuzzFeed quizzes/jerking off to porn? 2. Seriously, I’m like the walking dead. Except less attractive. And more dead. 3. What would happen if I called in sick? 4. Would everyone know I’m faking it? 5. I’ll have to feign a cough when I go in [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Hilarious Quotes by Famous Comedians

April 5, 2014 // 51 Comments

What makes you laugh? Besides internet cat videos? Besides farts? Besides someone with a heavy German accent pronouncing the phrase, “I would like to butter your biscuit.” What makes you roll on the floor laughing? Or ROTFLs? Maybe pajamas with the butt flap open? Or PJsWTBFOs? Maybe old ladies eating corn on the cob? Or OLECOTCs? [Click For More]

Goodnight Malaysian Three Seven Zero

April 4, 2014 // 33 Comments

The recent furor over the exact wording of the last broadcast from the tragically lost airliner has us wishing for a touch of moderation from the network reporters feeding off of this story and peace for the families. The words in that last cockpit transmission don’t matter as much as the dignity that “experts” and their [Click For More]

Warnog The Beer Of Champion Klingons

April 2, 2014 // 34 Comments

It’s Saturday night on the star ship. You and your fellow hundred companions are off duty for the evening. It’s time to head down to flight deck 12 where the bar is located and get your brew on! So you put on a new, nicely pressed red shirt, which is all you ever wear…whether you’re on duty or not. Don’t worry, [Click For More]

LAP Featured on WordPress News

April 1, 2014 // 10 Comments

In case you missed it: For the first time ever, this is not a spoof news announcement: The entire LAP cast was featured on WordPress News, so please join us for an insightful interview into the underworkings and underwears of of this marvelously disorganized humor mag of sorts! CLICK HERE to read the full interview We will also be offering a [Click For More]
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