I admit it. I was digital-stalking someone. In fact, I was stalking him so hard, I spit out my oatmeal. It landed on my computer screen and slid down from his Twitter follower number that had jumped from under two hundred to over five thousand since the day before. My stalkee had bought fake followers and I […]
So you’ve finally decided to share your selfies with a larger audience and joined Instagram, huh? Instagram is a square, heavily-filtered jungle home to caffeine addicts, social networking narcissists, proud pet owners, amateur chefs, and people who use #kendalljenner on all of their posts. When you’re just getting started, it can be difficult to determine where […]
If you have spent more than a few minutes on Facebook, you’ve probably noticed that a lot of Facebook posts are actually very similar in nature. In fact, you could probably rephrase most of Facebook posts as one of the updates below, thus summarizing 99% of entire Facebook in fewer than 100 words.
Deep in the bunkers here at the Long Awkward Pause Command Post, we often receive emails from helpful readers who alert our crack team of investigative journalists to important breaking news stories. In accordance with our strict standards of journalistic integrity, we carefully review every submission, especially the ones that contain Starbucks gift cards and […]
At some point everyone considers cleaning out their Facebook friend list. Too many instances of “what the hell am I looking at?” and “is this real life?” make the unfriend button look incredibly appealing. But it’s hard to follow through– what if you miss out on something or need that person at some point? It turns out, […]
Of all the things you lose in a breakup, access to your ex’s facebook may be the worst. If ever there were a reason to “stay friends” this is it. 12:42PM – He likes another girl’s check-in at a restaurant. Translation: He was obviously cheating on you the entire time. 3:16PM – He posts a photo of his dog and some random brunette […]
Hello, Howard Gantz, Manager here. In case you don’t who I am, I’m the manager of Long Awkward Pause. A hard but rewarding job that I do with pride every single day, except Sundays. Sundays are mine. Anyway, we get a lot of emails here at L.A.P…. A lot…. And I thought while the guys […]