Tag Archives: life

source: sisterwivesspeak.com September 15

The Sisterwives Mistakenly Interview Us

There is a group of powerful women writers who have collected together and formed the website: The Sisterwives. Should it be whom have collected? I don’t know. The grammar police will email me soon. They always do. I probably should have paid more attention in English class, but alas I have always run away from […]

Listen Vs. Ignore - Toggle Switch September 07

Ten Current Topics That Are Taking Over Our Lives

  People tend to believe they are master minds, however, eventually the stuff they bring to the table has been created by using 2500 different recipes, and unfortunately, people just don’t want to consume it any longer. Here is a list of topics that are just taking over our lives: 

football September 04

Our passion for football could get us hurt here at LAP

Like millions of red-blooded, unathletic men across America, I will now be spending a good portion of my Saturdays sitting on the couch, eating handfuls of assorted snack foods and whining every time a player from my team makes even the teeniest mistake. It doesn’t matter that these men are performing feats of athletic skill […]

bostonteaparty2009_sm August 24

What If Modern Man Interfered With The Boston Tea Party…

Let’s travel back in time for just a second… And we are going to take a modern day 2015 man with us, with his iPhone 6, his Old Navy apparel, and his forward-thinking ways. 1773 Sons of Liberty: Thank you all for coming to this meeting to discuss our displeasure in receiving another tax on […]

clones July 30

Let’s face it, scientists: some genes are meant to be folded

It was 15 years ago this week that the bucardo mountain goat became extinct after a tree fell on the last of its species in northern Spain, prompting scientists to ponder the age-old question: If a tree falls on a goat in the woods, does it make a sound? To that end, U.S. and Spanish […]

pin July 06

If You Make A Guy Pinterest Famous

If you make a guy Pinterest famous… It might explain why the cashier at CVS is giving you weird looks… At first you were thinking it was the huge armpit stains on your shirt, but now…now you know better. She recognized you from your uber popular and super cool Pinterest board: 51 Tie Dye Do It Yourself […]

BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND - JULY 14:  Students throw their mortarboards in the air during their graduation photograph at the University of Birmingham degree congregations  on July 14, 2009 in Birmingham, England. Over 5000 graduates will be donning their robes this week to collect their degrees from The University of Birmingham. A recent survey suggested that there are 48 graduates competing for every job.  (Photo by Christopher Furlong/Getty Images) May 29

Grads: Don’t look back… because your old room is already a hot tub

To this year’s high school graduates: As you cross the stage to receive your diploma, remember that you’re crossing a brand new threshold in your young life. That’s because, in most cases, your parents have already arranged for the contents of your room to be hauled onto the front lawn and sold, probably during the […]

stormtrooperfeature February 14

The Saturday Six: Stormtroopers Are People Too!

  With the new Star Wars movie on the horizon, the Death Star Public Relations team is looking for ways to beef up the tainted image of the Galactic Empire. They say there is no such thing as bad press…but Darth Vader and company have a lot of ill feelings to try to patch. Plus […]

valentinesfeature February 07

The Saturday Six: Creepy Vintage Valentine’s Day Cards

  It’s that time of year to celebrate Love and Black History. And who doesn’t love black history? See what we did there? This week we are going to travel back in time. We are going to travel back to a much simpler era where life was grand, cars were a novelty, smoking was expected, and […]

source: dividedstates.com February 06

Post Your Brian Williams Misrememberances Here.

Brian Williams. He said his helicopter was shot down, but now…not so much. Long Awkward Pause is your place to shoot Brian Williams down with your derisive misrememberances.

Valentines-Day-752x483 February 02

The LAP Guide to Valentine’s Day

Here at Long Awkward Pause, we like to think of ourselves as a full-service organization.  At least that’s what our manager, Howard, says when he tells us to get him coffee.  In the spirit of spreading that special Valentine’s Day feeling, the staff put together a short list of V-Day gifts that will give your […]

brideandgroomfeature January 31

The Saturday Six: Scary Wedding Couples

   Here comes the bride… All dressed in… What?! What do you do when your lovely bride to be wants to dress like characters from Lord of the Rings? Do you start off your marriage on a ‘hell no!’? Or do you give in and look ridiculous for that one day… …plus the $2000 worth […]

babyfeature January 24

The Saturday Six: Awkward Baby Photos

   Those precious baby years of development and wonder only happen once. Think about those baby wide sparkly eyes, the cute little high pitched laughter, the pudgy baby feets, the acceptable double baby chins… Awwww! Remember to capture these moments while you can, because one day those cute, little marshmallow sponges of curiosity will turn into […]

toddler January 14

Guest Post: Today My Toddler Didn’t Break Me

If the great Gavin McInnes, founder of Vice and godfather of the hipster movement, taught us anything, it’s that people take parenting way too seriously. There is a definitive point where we leave the realm of good parenting and enter into the already exceeding capacity pool of idiots. A man should be defined by how […]

bedfeature January 10

The Saturday Six: Pretty Amazing Beds

   Doesn’t matter how rich or how poor you are… The bed is the one piece of furniture that makes your house a home… It’s the one thing you look forward too at the end of a long day… It’s the one thing you don’t want to get out of on a cold day… It […]

fliesfeature January 03

The Saturday Six: Making Hilarious Art with Dead Flies

  Swedish photographer Magnus Muhr was really bored one day…and also his house was infested with flies. So… You know how the saying goes…when life hands you dead flies, make dead fly art. Just like Muhr and his dead fly art, we have put together some dead fly art of our own,,,in the form of a poem. About […]

elderyfeature December 27

The Saturday Six: When You Don’t Care Anymore

  Some people fear getting old. And some people can’t wait. There are some nice benefits to it: discounts, retirement, early dinners, electric scooters, jello, being an extra on those Lifeline Medical Alert commercials, and most importantly, being able to say whatever-the-hell you want, when you want. “Can you believe Bob just said that about […]

lightsfeature December 20

The Saturday Six: Stringing Up The Lights

  Katie was in charge of decorating the office for Christmas this year. She did a really good job. Below are a few of the cubicles she gave the spirit of the Holidays too. Feel free to visit the offices if you would like to see the rest of the staff’s decorations. This is how […]

BAM! There he was! December 18

And here’s that time I was stalked by Santa

If you follow me Facebook or Twitter (probably against your better judgement) then you may have seen this photo taken a few days ago by a security camera at Fred Meyer. Many of you have asked what the story is behind this bizarre image, which some have compared to the famous 1967 footage of Bigfoot […]

christmassweaterfeatue December 13

The Saturday Six: Ridiculously Ugly Christmas Sweaters

   Over the last 10 years or so a couple of new Christmas traditions have come to surface. One being that damn Elf on the Shelf… The second being bad Christmas Sweaters. Don’t get us wrong…bad Christmas Sweaters have been around since Mary knitted Joseph the first one right before Christmas number two was celebrated…but […]


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