Tag Archives: life

BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND - JULY 14:  Students throw their mortarboards in the air during their graduation photograph at the University of Birmingham degree congregations  on July 14, 2009 in Birmingham, England. Over 5000 graduates will be donning their robes this week to collect their degrees from The University of Birmingham. A recent survey suggested that there are 48 graduates competing for every job.  (Photo by Christopher Furlong/Getty Images) May 29

Graduates: Don’t look back… because your old room is already a hot tub

To this year’s high school graduates: As you cross the stage to receive your diploma, remember that you’re crossing a brand new threshold in your young life. That’s because, in most cases, your parents have already arranged for the contents of your room to be hauled onto the front lawn and sold, probably during the […]

stormtrooperfeature February 14

The Saturday Six: Stormtroopers Are People Too!

  With the new Star Wars movie on the horizon, the Death Star Public Relations team is looking for ways to beef up the tainted image of the Galactic Empire. They say there is no such thing as bad press…but Darth Vader and company have a lot of ill feelings to try to patch. Plus […]

valentinesfeature February 07

The Saturday Six: Creepy Vintage Valentine’s Day Cards

  It’s that time of year to celebrate Love and Black History. And who doesn’t love black history? See what we did there? This week we are going to travel back in time. We are going to travel back to a much simpler era where life was grand, cars were a novelty, smoking was expected, and […]

source: dividedstates.com February 06

Post Your Brian Williams Misrememberances Here.

Brian Williams. He said his helicopter was shot down, but now…not so much. Long Awkward Pause is your place to shoot Brian Williams down with your derisive misrememberances.

Valentines-Day-752x483 February 02

The LAP Guide to Valentine’s Day

Here at Long Awkward Pause, we like to think of ourselves as a full-service organization.  At least that’s what our manager, Howard, says when he tells us to get him coffee.  In the spirit of spreading that special Valentine’s Day feeling, the staff put together a short list of V-Day gifts that will give your […]

brideandgroomfeature January 31

The Saturday Six: Scary Wedding Couples

   Here comes the bride… All dressed in… What?! What do you do when your lovely bride to be wants to dress like characters from Lord of the Rings? Do you start off your marriage on a ‘hell no!’? Or do you give in and look ridiculous for that one day… …plus the $2000 worth […]

babyfeature January 24

The Saturday Six: Awkward Baby Photos

   Those precious baby years of development and wonder only happen once. Think about those baby wide sparkly eyes, the cute little high pitched laughter, the pudgy baby feets, the acceptable double baby chins… Awwww! Remember to capture these moments while you can, because one day those cute, little marshmallow sponges of curiosity will turn into […]

toddler January 14

Guest Post: Today My Toddler Didn’t Break Me

If the great Gavin McInnes, founder of Vice and godfather of the hipster movement, taught us anything, it’s that people take parenting way too seriously. There is a definitive point where we leave the realm of good parenting and enter into the already exceeding capacity pool of idiots. A man should be defined by how […]

bedfeature January 10

The Saturday Six: Pretty Amazing Beds

   Doesn’t matter how rich or how poor you are… The bed is the one piece of furniture that makes your house a home… It’s the one thing you look forward too at the end of a long day… It’s the one thing you don’t want to get out of on a cold day… It […]

fliesfeature January 03

The Saturday Six: Making Hilarious Art with Dead Flies

  Swedish photographer Magnus Muhr was really bored one day…and also his house was infested with flies. So… You know how the saying goes…when life hands you dead flies, make dead fly art. Just like Muhr and his dead fly art, we have put together some dead fly art of our own,,,in the form of a poem. About […]

elderyfeature December 27

The Saturday Six: When You Don’t Care Anymore

  Some people fear getting old. And some people can’t wait. There are some nice benefits to it: discounts, retirement, early dinners, electric scooters, jello, being an extra on those Lifeline Medical Alert commercials, and most importantly, being able to say whatever-the-hell you want, when you want. “Can you believe Bob just said that about […]

lightsfeature December 20

The Saturday Six: Stringing Up The Lights

  Katie was in charge of decorating the office for Christmas this year. She did a really good job. Below are a few of the cubicles she gave the spirit of the Holidays too. Feel free to visit the offices if you would like to see the rest of the staff’s decorations. This is how […]

BAM! There he was! December 18

And here’s that time I was stalked by Santa

If you follow me Facebook or Twitter (probably against your better judgement) then you may have seen this photo taken a few days ago by a security camera at Fred Meyer. Many of you have asked what the story is behind this bizarre image, which some have compared to the famous 1967 footage of Bigfoot […]

christmassweaterfeatue December 13

The Saturday Six: Ridiculously Ugly Christmas Sweaters

   Over the last 10 years or so a couple of new Christmas traditions have come to surface. One being that damn Elf on the Shelf… The second being bad Christmas Sweaters. Don’t get us wrong…bad Christmas Sweaters have been around since Mary knitted Joseph the first one right before Christmas number two was celebrated…but […]

meh-coffee-mug December 06

The Saturday Six: Coffee Mugs that Should be on your Christmas List

   The best tasting, as well as most expensive coffee in the world is actually filtered through the digestive track of a monkey. That’s right… It’s made with monkey poop. We apologize if you just spit your coffee out all over yourself as you read that. We’re laughing, but we apologize. The coffee is called, […]

food6 November 22

The Saturday Six: A Few Reasons you Should Play with your Food

  The Food Network has been playing on the office TV a lot this month. BrainRants really likes that channel and well…we try not to mess with him or his TV time too much when he is in a good mood. And he has been in a good mood! So we let him watch his […]

600full-steve-buscemi November 15

The Saturday Six: She’s Got Steve Buscemi Eyes

  Even if you think you don’t know who Steve Buscemi is…you know him. He is one of those actors whom you have seen in many different films and when he pops up in the movie, you say, “Oh yeah…that guy! He’s good! And creepy! But still good!” This is Steve Buscemi: He usually plays sleazy, […]

saturday six button November 08

The Saturday Six: Sexy Animal Photoshoots

   Everyone wants to feel sexy. Even your pets. I kind of envy the animal kingdom in the fact that they don’t have to worry about dressing up fancy, buying fancy perfume, putting on fancy makeup, and/or shaving various parts of their fancy body. They just kind of go out, make a noise, and see […]

saturday six button November 01

The Saturday Six: Weird Toys for Kids?

   The innocence and bill free days of childhood…. If we could only go back for one day… A day filled with Chuck E Cheese and Christmas and Easter and Birthday Parities and late night scary movies on channel 10 with your best friend… But we can’t. Right now, you are actually late for work […]

saturday six button October 25

The Saturday Six: Epic Pumpkin Carving Skills

   This whole month we have been talking about pumpkins. Some of us…hate them. Some of us…mildly tolerate them. One of us is excited for Christmas already. While most of the country is busy bitching about Pumpkin Spice and the other Spice Girls, and carving the traditional square, square, triangle, half moon with teeth into […]

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