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Eclectic; A Hipster Conversation

January 22, 2016 // 14 Comments

byline: Jude the Hipster Eclectic; a hipster conversation From the Merriam Webster online dictionary- ECLECTIC: (n) one who uses a method or approach that is composed of elements drawn from various sources; one who uses an eclectic method or approach. For the most part, people who use the term “eclectic” really piss me off.  Generally, people [Click For More]

A vote for me is a vote for anyone but Trump

December 6, 2015 // 21 Comments

For those of you who have been following me in my pursuit of “Performer of the Year” in the A Star is Born competition at The Public Blogger, then you know I’ve made the Final Four! *sound of old dog stretching* If you haven’t been following because you’ve had more important things to do, such as working on your [Click For More]

Happy Thanksgiving 2015

November 26, 2015 // 2 Comments

  As another Thanksgiving comes and goes, with the smell of turkey and over zealous pigskin testosterone filling the air, plus the promise of Black Friday starting on a Thursday…around 6 pm…looming ahead of us like bright shiny gold filled gum drops dropped by a half naked pudgy baby…we at Long Awkward Pause are thankful [Click For More]

Your Thanksgiving questions answered by Mr. Knowitall

November 19, 2015 // 20 Comments

It’s been 395 years since that first Thanksgiving, when the Pilgrims and Wampanoag Indians sat down together in celebration and, much like the Americans of today, made a solemn vow not to eat more than your standard bull elk. We know this because of a passage recently discovered in the diary of Pilgrim Edward Winslow, who described the first [Click For More]

South Sobian Tinder

November 16, 2015 // 14 Comments

There is a small country located just south of Siberia called South Sobia. It’s small. It’s poor, but its people are proud. They work hard. They are mostly farmers and bar keeps. In fact, there are almost as many farmers as there are bar keeps. Weird. In the middle of South Sobia is where the library is located, and in the library [Click For More]

Homecoming Season Advice

November 5, 2015 // 15 Comments

I came out of my cave and realized that we’re getting close to homecoming and/or prom season and other holiday-related date situation seasons.  By the way, the sun was really bright.  It hurt.  Moving on… I decided that all of the LAP Angry Dads out there (you know who you are) need a helpful guide to this perilous time of the [Click For More]

In Which The Dog and I Discuss the New Pope

October 13, 2015 // 17 Comments

I had a conversation with the dog today.  We were talking about the new pope.  For the first time ever, I am actually not only aware of the Pope’s activities, but I am also finding I actually kinda like this Pope.  I tried to explain this to Malachi, but it turns out, he’s not a very [Click For More]

The Sisterwives Mistakenly Interview Us

September 15, 2015 // 25 Comments

There is a group of powerful women writers who have collected together and formed the website: The Sisterwives. Should it be whom have collected? I don’t know. The grammar police will email me soon. They always do. I probably should have paid more attention in English class, but alas I have always run away from the thought of putting words [Click For More]

Our passion for football could get us hurt here at LAP

September 4, 2015 // 18 Comments

Like millions of red-blooded, unathletic men across America, I will now be spending a good portion of my Saturdays sitting on the couch, eating handfuls of assorted snack foods and whining every time a player from my team makes even the teeniest mistake. It doesn’t matter that these men are performing feats of athletic skill I can only achieve [Click For More]

If You Make A Guy Pinterest Famous

July 6, 2015 // 24 Comments

If you make a guy Pinterest famous… It might explain why the cashier at CVS is giving you weird looks… At first you were thinking it was the huge armpit stains on your shirt, but now…now you know better. She recognized you from your uber popular and super cool Pinterest board: 51 Tie Dye Do It Yourself Projects That has to be [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Stormtroopers Are People Too!

February 14, 2015 // 13 Comments

  With the new Star Wars movie on the horizon, the Death Star Public Relations team is looking for ways to beef up the tainted image of the Galactic Empire. They say there is no such thing as bad press…but Darth Vader and company have a lot of ill feelings to try to patch. Plus they lost a lot of support in the Alderaan camp…like a [Click For More]
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