Tag Archives: humour

Bacon wrapped pizza February 24

You Can’t Look Away From Little Caesars Bacon Crust Pizza

Big news, mediocre pizza fans! Little Caesars pizza has gone from tasting like poop to tasting like bacon-wrapped poop with the introduction of their bacon crust pizza. This comes as bad news to Catholics who just gave up junk food for Lent. Why couldn’t Little Caesars have waited to release this bacon orgy until after […]

manhood February 23

After 50 Shades of Magic Mike, men are trying to recover their manhood

It was a tough week for the male persuasion. However, now that the 50 Shades of dust has settled, men are emerging from the proverbial rubble a bit shellshocked and checking for survivors. Not only did we go head-to-head with the release of 50 Shades, we were also flanked by Valentine’s Day AND word of […]

reality_logo_im_a_celebrity_0 February 20

To Be Celebrity or Not To Be Celebrity

Celebrities often get a bad rap. Why? Because often they are spoiled, rich and famous. Some even like to complain about being rich and famous. That is  weird. Deep down though, who doesn’t wish they were one? It would be nice to have millions of adoring fans. It would also be nice to make headlines whenever you decided to alter our […]

TED-post-2 February 16

Spoiler Alert:  Ted 2 Movie Trailer Review

America’s favorite beer-battered stuffed animal is back in theaters soon, which will be Seth MacFarlane’s second big-screen crack at animating a character that doesn’t sound exactly like Peter Griffin. The first installment of the series added Ted’s name to a growing list of other famous character bears including:  Fozzie, Winnie, Teddy, Smokey, Yogi, and one of these […]

50 shades wine February 12

This Weekend’s Forecast: Sex and Wine

You know what’s happening this weekend is, don’t you? Let me give you a hint – it’s a special day that celebrates love. Many women have been waiting months for this day so that they can revel in a night of pure romance.   Meanwhile, many men will be spending a night out with their significant […]

source: greenbergcommunications.com February 09

Updated Cliches For The Social Media World

Cliches have been around for centuries. We all know them. We all use them. Some of us love them. Some of us love them too much. One subject cliches have yet to tackle is: Social Media! You know…Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, FarmersOnly.com, etc. We understand that most of these sayings were written around the same time that […]

source: dividedstates.com February 06

Post Your Brian Williams Misrememberances Here.

Brian Williams. He said his helicopter was shot down, but now…not so much. Long Awkward Pause is your place to shoot Brian Williams down with your derisive misrememberances.

CurtisArmstrong3 January 30

Over the Line Podcast #13 with Actor Curtis Armstrong Music by Barely Eagle

On Today’s Show: Special Guest Curtis Armstrong: Curtis has been in many movies including Revenge of the Nerds, Risky Business, and Better off Dead. His TV credits include Moonlighting and King of the Nerds. Music by Barely Eagle. Plus: Super Bowl Prop Bets, Female Ghostbusters, Late Night TV, John Oliver, We Are The World, Justin Bieber […]

blow nachos January 22

Now We’re Cooking with Fire

Some friends were coming over for dinner and I had a major case of writer’s block.   Or I guess that would be cook’s block, but that sounds like glorified cutting board.   So let’s just call it I-had-no-freaking-clue-what-to-make block. This was about the same time that I was working on my Peyton Manning fashion post. […]

YouTube January 18

LAP TV: Rejected Animations And 5 WTF Diet Trends

First on LAP TV is our new partners at Destructive Brilliance Studios along with LAP’s own graphic artist Adam Sendek. They have been working on a new opening for LAP TV. Below is some of the animations that did not make the cut. *Spoiler Alert* Kim Kardashian’s butt might make a cameo.     Next up is […]

toddler January 14

Guest Post: Today My Toddler Didn’t Break Me

If the great Gavin McInnes, founder of Vice and godfather of the hipster movement, taught us anything, it’s that people take parenting way too seriously. There is a definitive point where we leave the realm of good parenting and enter into the already exceeding capacity pool of idiots. A man should be defined by how […]

Chris_Parnell January 11

Over the Line Podcast #12 with Actor Chris Parnell

On Today’s Show: Special Guest Chris Parnell: He is best known as a cast member on Saturday Night Live from 1998–2006. Chris also had a role as Dr. Leo Spaceman on 30 Rock. Currently Parnell is Cyril Figgis on the animated comedy Archer, and Jerry on the Adult Swim animated sci-fi/comedy Rick and Morty. Plus: Grilled Cheese, Nicole Kidman, […]

Image public domain January 08

You Don’t Know How I Feel – All About Windchill

How do they calculate wind chill? I’ll tell you, but I’m also going to tell you that it is bullshit.

over the line display button December 29

Over the Line Podcast No 11 2014 Year in Review, plus Music by Mirage Box

On Today’s Show: The boys discuss the events and people who made 2014. Some of the discussion: Ellen Page, Taylor Swift, World Cup, Ben Affleck, Dead People of 2014, Martha Stewart, Malaysia Airliner, Ebola, Ferguson, Putin, Elevator Violence, Three Boobs, Target, and more. This episodes musical guest: Mirage Box. Mirage Box’s music has been described […]

holidays December 25

The New Modern Holiday Carol

There is a plague in this country that is far worse than Malaria, Black Death, or even Ebola. And that plague is called Political Correctness. What this blight does is stop people from recognizing that it’s OK to be different. Imagine a world full of the one type of people and culture. How boring. Even the Holidays are […]

papa_johns_0 December 22

Peyton Manning Needs Me

When I started dating my wife years ago, I explained to her that I wasn’t one of those guys who watches ESPN eight hours a day like a bunch of her friends’ significant others.   I really don’t give a rat’s ass about baseball, hockey, or college sports.  So she never has to worry about not […]

take-that-young December 14

5 of the WORST Boy Band Lyrics – LAP TV

Introducing LAP TV with your host: Jaclyn! Join her as she counts down the 5 worst boy band lyrics.

facebook December 08

99 Percent Of Facebook In 99 Words

If you have spent more than a few minutes on Facebook, you’ve probably noticed that a lot of Facebook posts are actually very similar in nature. In fact, you could probably rephrase most of Facebook posts as one of the updates below, thus summarizing 99% of entire Facebook in fewer than 100 words.

burtreynolds December 04

Just In Time For Christmas – The Burt Reynolds Auction

Burt Reynolds. Remember him? The well-known actor with 178 film and television credits? You’d think that a guy who scored big roles in such classics as W.W. and the Dixie Dance Kings, Smokey and the Bandit, Deliverance and Striptease would be squared away as far as cash flow. Apparently not. Burt is facing foreclosure on […]

thanksgiving2014 November 27

A Long Awkward Pause Thanksgiving 2014

  The staff of Long Awkward Pause would like to take a moment to wish you and your family a very happy and safe Thanksgiving. We would also like to thank you, the readers of the website, the followers on Twitter and Tumblr, the Facebook viewers, and the podcast listeners. So, as we gather around […]

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