Tag Archives: humour

pumpkin October 20

In Defense Of Pumpkin Season

As the Fall season is upon us once again, I recently had the opportunity to sit down with Pumpkin and get his take on the new brewing trend of hating on his kind. Pumpkin: It’s an honor to be here. I’m a big fan of Longawkwardpause.com. Although I was hoping it would be someone else doing the […]

themoreyouknow October 02

This Week I Learned Pt III

Reddit.com has this great feature called: Today I Learned, which complies little interesting and trivial facts about random things. We here at Long Awkward Pause have gathered a sample of some that we found worthy of mention:   A company is now able to mass produce spider silk. They inserted the genes of the spider into […]

pumpkins September 29

I’ve Been Meaning To Talk To You About Him…

He’s leaving. He’s taking your money with him when he does…again. How do you not see this coming?

spider September 22

Let us Band together and Eradicate the world from Spiders

Contrary to what many scientists believe, there are only two varieties of spiders in the world: 1.) fugging nasty spiders 2.) fugging nasty spiders with fur No need to get into genus and all that crap, because when you discover one perched on the ceiling monitoring your sleep status, you probably don’t give a hoot about what […]

inventions September 16

The Greatest Inventions That Don’t Get Enough Credit

Throughout the decades and centuries there has been some inventions that have changed the world….fire, the wheel, the assembly line, the Victoria Secret Bra,and the iPhone….just to name a few. But there are the unsung heroes of the invention world that never get any praise or spotlight, yet we can’t live without them.   The Windshield […]

themoreyouknow September 04

This Week I Learned Pt II

Reddit.com has this great feature called: Today I Learned, which complies little interesting and trivial facts about random things. We here at Long Awkward Pause have gathered a sample of some that we found worthy of mention:   The price of admission for a zoo in 18th century England was a dog or a cat — […]

HENRY-ROLLINS-FULL-FRAME-CROPED-FINAL-WEB August 20

The Over The Line Show #8 with Special Guest: Henry Rollins Plus Robin Williams Tribute

On Today’s Show: Special Guest: Henry Rollins wears many hats; a musician, writer, journalist, publisher, actor, radio host, spoken word artist, radio show host, and activist.  Rollins was the front man for the bands, Black Flag and the Rollins Band. He  has also hosted numerous radio shows, television shows, and been in several movies. Rollins has also campaigned for various […]

download (1) August 14

The Official Handshake Etiquette Guidebook

Shaking hands is a greeting ritual dating back to the early Neolithic period.  Apparently, somewhere around that time people decided it was more appropriate than licking someone’s face to acknowledge a clan member.  There’s your fun history fact for the day. This custom and its many variations have lead to some confusion after the advent of Instagram, but […]

th August 08

LONG AWKWARD PAUSE PRESENTS: AUGUST 2014 HOROSCOPES

Compiled by Dr. Horatio Jackson-Smyth PhD, Psychic, Sudoku Master, and Crypto-zoologist     August 2014 will be marked simultaneously by the most beneficent and respectively the most dreadful of all astrological aspects. So buckle the f**k up, buttercup! The most dreadful astrological aspect will be the conjunction between Mars and Uranus, which will take place […]

statefood July 31

STATE OF FOOD

One of those fluff pieces that our lamestream media insert into online content to balance out the death, destruction and general asshattery of our elected official buffoons that chokes out our eyeballs like cholesterol in a fat guy’s aorta are common.  One such “article” piqued my interest – Official State foods. At first glance, official […]

Musical Legend: Weird Al Yankovic July 21

The Over The Line Show #7 with Special Guests: Brooke Burns, Adam Baldwin, and Weird Al Yankovic

On Today’s Show: Special Guests:         Listen to the Show Here:   You can download the episode or listen on the Podomatic App here: http://longawkwardpause.podomatic.com/entry/2014-07-17T09_59_58-07_00 Official PauseCast Page: http://longawkwardpause.podomatic.com/ iTunes Link: Listen Here You can contact Jack or Joe for topic suggestions or to be a guest HERE You can download the podomatic app for your […]

image July 14

LAP’s Staff Contest Winner Pictures

Congratulations again to our contest winner, Catherine! She’s the author of the blog, Always a Redhead, and sole proprietor of the only Long Awkward Pause swag on the planet to date.  Well, that is unless there’s another Long Awkward Pause that we’re not aware of that is preparing to spank our butts with a copyright infringement suit […]

themoreyouknow July 03

This Week I Learned

Troy aka Ad-libbed was supposed to post today but went into the hospital for emergency kidney surgery. He is doing well, but will have to stay in the hospital for a couple of days and get his fill of red jello. Please send him some well wishes in the comments section below. In the meantime….Reddit.com […]

cup June 30

The World Cup: Origins

So, what is that thing that happens on TV every four years that no one cares about when it isn’t on? No! Not the Olympics! Yes! The World Cup! In this, the first in a series of features in which I feature a series of how certain things came to be and/or live and exist […]

June 26

22 Books That Should Be On Everyone’s Summer Reading List

Summer has officially arrived and so marks the beginning of a season filled with travel, lying around poolside, and day drinking. Lots of day drinking. Summer is also a time for self-reflection and relaxation. When grabbing a book and hitting the beach or sitting out in the yard are not only possible, but encouraged. But […]

J. Crew catalog June 24

If Straight Guys Named the Colors in the J. Crew Catalog

When it comes to the creative naming of colors, gay men and the J. Crew catalog have got it on lock. Have you ever read a J. Crew catalog? Their sweater shades are not simply “red,” “green,” or “yellow.” Beige is “Carribean Sand.” Navy blue is “Night Shadow,” and so on. I once worked at a […]

toe ring 2 June 23

An Open Letter to Anyone Wearing Foot Jewelry

  Dear anklet (ankle bracelet) and toe ring wearers, On behalf of the world, I want to inform you that we’re all a little perplexed as to why you’d use accessories to accentuate what is arguably the least sexy part of the human body (unless you have a foot fetish or you like a big […]

image June 21

The Saturday Six: Popular Brand Slogans Revised

Before the advent of marketing, there was a time when people lived in grass huts and ate acorns for breakfast.  It was a much simpler time back then, because people didn’t have to stand in line on Black Friday to buy TVs to watch Kim Kardashian. Instead, they drew pictures of her on rocks with sticks covered in animal dung. […]

LAP Aniversary Banner June 19

Long Awkward Pause Pop Quiz Winner Announced!

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Boy, placing an exclamation point after a contest announcement really hypes it up, eh?  Exclamation points add so much excitement!  Without one, the context completely changes. But enough of the grammar lessons, because it’s time to reveal the winner of the Long Awkward Pause Pop Quiz!  And one more exclamation point just for fun! Here […]

got June 16

Goodbye Game of Thrones Season 4

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Game of Thrones ends another season, and what a season it was! Below is a little tune written to Elton John’s Candle In The Wind to help celebrate last night’s season ending episode. It doesn’t give away too many spoilers, but if you’re not caught up by now…whose fault is that? Goodbye Game of Thrones […]

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