Tag Archives: humour

saturn1 July 27

Heavenly Bodies

Long Awkward Pause readers are hip, informed and intelligent people. Because this is true, you like to Science, and I’ve been assigned an article to expand your universe. At least to bring space to your place. So I’m about to get all Neil deGrasse Tyson here. Maybe you thought by reading the title that this […]

macsabbath July 15

I Was Denied An Interview With Mac Sabbath

I was in a dimly lit and small night club located off the main downtown drag…like seven blocks off to be exact. I’m pretty sure it was a Steak N’ Shake before someone decided it should be a club. A small stage stood against the back wall. It was wooden and oddly shaped. The owner’s brother-in-law probably […]

bubblewrap July 13

R.I.P. Bubble Wrap 1957- 2015

Dearly Beloved, We are gathered here today…to mourn the loss of one of the truly greats of these modern times…an innovator that ranges from low tech fun to functional packing protector, impromptu pillow, wallpaper substitute, and so much more.

pin July 06

If You Make A Guy Pinterest Famous

If you make a guy Pinterest famous… It might explain why the cashier at CVS is giving you weird looks… At first you were thinking it was the huge armpit stains on your shirt, but now…now you know better. She recognized you from your uber popular and super cool Pinterest board: 51 Tie Dye Do It Yourself […]

Nedinator Poster 2 July 01

LAP TV Presents: The Nedinator

  First Came The Trailer That Got Everyone Talking: And Then A Second Trailer Was Released… And The Internet Almost Shut Down With Excitement: Then Finally… After Days of Waiting… Which Seemed Like Eternity… It Is Finally Here The Biggest Six Minute And Forty-Eight Second Summer Blockbuster Ever Produced On A Camera Phone… Watch The Full […]

Gyrosphere-sign June 25

Worst Design Ever: Gyrospheres In Jurassic World

This article should not give anything away spoiler wise if you have not seen Jurassic World. Probably. The Gyrospheres in Jurassic World seem like a really cool idea for a theme park ride…at first. If you haven’t seen the movie, the concept of this ride is a self guided protection bubble that allows you to roam […]

crows June 17

15 Regrettable Circumstances That Might Be More Depressing Than Game of Thrones

If you haven’t watched the season finale of Game of Thrones yet – or, more likely, haven’t been spoiled by the Facebook friend who only pauses his political commentary to publicly live-morn the deaths of beloved TV characters he naively assumed were untouchable – chances are you have to wait until one of your benevolent […]

dog June 16

Attention Dog Lovers Who Hate Dead Dogs On Film

Jack actually found this web site, but I stole the story from him. It’s the Internet Movie Database for whether or not a dog is killed in a movie, and it’s called: Does the Dog Die?

160px-Shot_glass_with_Fishermans_friend June 11

Let’s Do Fireball Shots! Bad Idea.

Let’s do Fireball! Yeah! Good idea! Here’s why three of your friends are going to be carrying your drunk ass home.

kung fury June 05

The Future of Movies Has A Name: Kung Fury

Kung Fury hit Kickstarter back on December of 2013. This date will be as important to remember as all other important dates that we are made to remember…such as: There are a few others, but our Google hand is tired already. In an age of 53 gazillion dollar four hour blockbusters, this crowd funded 30 minute […]

funny-Earth-hugging-Mars May 30

This Week On Earth: May 24th – May 30th 2015

Hello Saturday! Let’s take a look back at what was notable in news, internet, and other shenanigans for the week of: May 24th – May 30th 2015

earth-from-space May 23

This Week On Earth: May 17th – May 23rd 2015

Hello Saturday! Let’s take a look back at what was notable in news, internet, and other shenanigans for the week of: May 17th – May 23rd 2015   This Is One Way To Make Baseball More Interesting Hey People! Cameras are everywhere! Everywhere! When are you going to realize this? Now we know Baseball is boring…we […]

key1 May 18

Read This Before You Lick Your Keyboard

Fun quiz here, people: one of the most germ-ridden areas of your house is: The toilet Your butthole The TV remote Your keyboard   If you answered A or C, you’re close. If you answered B, you didn’t read the question, unless you happen to live up your own ass. I understand this happens to […]

DWXHNK1431699548 May 16

This Week On Earth: May 10th – May 16th 2015

Hello Saturday! Let’s take a look back at what was notable in news, internet, and other shenanigans for the week of: May 10th – May 16th 2015   Puff, Puff…Can’t Pass…I’m On Satellite If you are on South African television having a debate about the legalization of marijuana, and the opposing side is nipping at […]

week-in-reveiw May 09

This Week On Earth: May 3rd – May 9th 2015

Hello Saturday! Let’s take a look back at what was notable in news, internet, and other shenanigans for the week of:  May 3rd – May 9th 2015   This Is What Happens When You Forget To Put Extra Ketchup In The To Go Bag A crazed (and probably hopped up on the drugs) man enters a restaurant […]

Ned with an advanced copy of  "50 Shades of Time-Traveling Vampire Love." May 07

Part two: LAP interviews self-proclaimed best-selling author Ima Knowitall

As I mentioned in Part I of my Long Awkward Pause interview wth Ima Knowitall, she is the author of more than 40 online novels this past year, and was recently honored by the Society of Illiterate Columnists (SIC) for her contributions to “…the advancement of people who write without the shackles of proper grammar.” […]

image May 05

LAP interviews self-proclaimed best-selling author Ima Knowitall

With the release of her highly anticipated online novel Time-Traveling Vampires of Love just a few days away, I held little hope of getting an interview with Ima Knowitall when I called her private number on assignment for Long Awkward Pause this morning. Knowitall is the author of more than 40 online novels this past […]

week-in-reveiw May 02

This Week On Earth: April 26th – May 2nd 2015

Hello Saturday! Let’s take a look back at what was notable in news, internet, and other shenanigans for the week of: April 26th – May 2nd 2015 Burning Down The House At the top of the list is the Baltimore Riots. What better way to show injustice over police violence then to violently destroy your city so […]

Mangria lineup May 01

Alcoholic Abominations

In mid-March I had an experience with alcohol that was so incredibly awful it bordered on laughable.  The best way I can describe it is that it was “an alcoholic abomination.”   Not that kind of abomination.  And it wasn’t the green beer, either – it was worse. I had Mangria. At quick glance, I […]

credit: grail games April 29

Win One Zero One The Card Game!

Now that Long Awkward Pause has hit the big time…and by big time we mean ALL of our Moms now read it…we have stock piled a mass of things to give away. (Big thanks to my Mom for finally jumping on board. She was the last lone hold out.) Who doesn’t like to receive things for free? […]

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 13,092 other followers