Tag Archives: humor

lap weather 7 November 30

Dumb Stuff the Weather Guy Says

Winter is coming – everyone’s least favorite season.  Between the snow and cold, we get to deal with falling on our asses because of ice, and shoveling tons of white crap off our walkways.  Unless you live in Florida, of course.  I excluded California since they shovel tons of white shit year-round. Weather people are […]

happy-thanksgiving-turkey-cartoon-1248357 November 26

Happy Thanksgiving 2015

  As another Thanksgiving comes and goes, with the smell of turkey and over zealous pigskin testosterone filling the air, plus the promise of Black Friday starting on a Thursday…around 6 pm…looming ahead of us like bright shiny gold filled gum drops dropped by a half naked pudgy baby…we at Long Awkward Pause are thankful for so many […]

butterball November 24

Over the Line Show #29 Thanksgiving Is A Sore Subject In England

  On Today’s Show: This week…Happy Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving History, Kendrick Lamar, Charlie Sheen, Creed (the movie, not the band), Hunger Games, Lost In Space reboot, Reboot woes, Master Chef Junior

SMM-Confusion1 November 21


It’s time for another installment of: Social Saturdays! Social Saturdays is the feature where we find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Snapchatting, or Emailing lately. Hell, I think one of us is still on Friendster. You’re probably following most of them and clicking like or fav or heart or whatever it […]

Mr. Knowitall is happy to answer your questions November 19

Your Thanksgiving questions answered by Mr. Knowitall

It’s been 395 years since that first Thanksgiving, when the Pilgrims and Wampanoag Indians sat down together in celebration and, much like the Americans of today, made a solemn vow not to eat more than your standard bull elk. We know this because of a passage recently discovered in the diary of Pilgrim Edward Winslow, […]

paris November 17

Over the Line Show #28 Paris, Rousey, and Sour Cream

On Today’s Show: Topics include reaction to the attacks in Paris. Plus MST3K plots a comeback, KFC comes to your door and Ronda Rousey hits the floor. Plus Joe’s emasculation in the dairy section of the grocery store.

tinderx November 16

South Sobian Tinder

There is a small country located just south of Siberia called South Sobia. It’s small. It’s poor, but its people are proud. They work hard. They are mostly farmers and bar keeps. In fact, there are almost as many farmers as there are bar keeps. Weird. In the middle of South Sobia is where the library is located, […]

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(c) Can Stock Photo Inc. / marish November 14


Welcome to another installment of: Social Saturdays! This is where we find out what the staff members of Long Awkward Pause are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, or Emailing lately. But not Google+ …because Google+ is like a Scooby Doo ghost town. Even our crazies don’t go there anymore. You are probably following most of them and […]

Starbucks-Red-Cups-War-On-Christmas November 11

Over the Line Show #27 Blasphemous Coffee Cups

  On Today’s Show: This week…Donald Trump, Jeb Bush and Baby Hitler. Plus blasphemous coffee cups and the new James Bond movie. Old TV favorites are set for reboots and…Joe’s old crush on a Christian rock singer.

LAP danger November 05

Homecoming Season Advice

I came out of my cave and realized that we’re getting close to homecoming and/or prom season and other holiday-related date situation seasons.  By the way, the sun was really bright.  It hurt.  Moving on… I decided that all of the LAP Angry Dads out there (you know who you are) need a helpful guide […]

stalking November 03

How to Use Social Media Without Irritating the F*ck Out of Everyone

I admit it. I was digital-stalking someone. In fact, I was stalking him so hard, I spit out my oatmeal. It landed on my computer screen and slid down from his Twitter follower number that had jumped from under two hundred to over five thousand since the day before. My stalkee had bought fake followers and I […]

vegas November 02

Over the Line Show #26 Vegas Baby!

On Today’s Show: Topics include Joe’s Vegas Trip In Hilarious Details from departing flight to fraud credit cards, slot machine wins, buffets, and shows.

SocialMediaMassShooting October 31

Social Saturdays Volume Six

Welcome to another installment of: Social Saturdays! This is where we find out what the staff members of Long Awkward Pause are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Emailing, Halloweening, and whatever else they maybe doing instead of writing articles. You are probably following most of them anyway…and if you’re not, you should…but here is one handy […]

asteroid October 30

Saving the Earth from an asteroid could come down to a good paint job

Scientists and Hollywood can agree on one thing: It’s only a matter of time before the Earth is destroyed. Most likely by an asteroid. Possibly as early as this evening. That’s because scientists at the PanSTARRS observatory in Hawaii tell us astroid TB145 will have a near-miss with the Earth tonight around 5:45 p.m. (PST). […]

CSJ99dwWEAAuPBA October 29

Chewbacca Arrested While Campaigning for Vader

So apparently, this past Sunday, while we were all watching football and discussing Donald Trump’s hair, Chewbacca was in Odessa, Ukraine getting arrested. Why, you ask? Let me ‘splain… Your see, Darth Vader (his real name, FTW) was making his play for mayoral candidacy under the Ukraine Internet Party (UIP). Now you might know Darth Vader from the Star Wars […]

ccc done October 28

The Creepiest Cookies Ever

Halloween is coming up and this time around it falls on Saturday, so there’s bound to be a ton of costume parties everywhere.   Whether you’re attending one or hosting, there’s a lot of things to do to get ready for the big night.   I know one of my dilemmas is whether I should stay at […]

Disgust-face-282x300 October 26

My Interview With A Long Awkward Pause Hater

Not everybody is going to like what you do, and that’s fine. Art comes in many forms and if we all liked the same style of it, then the world would be a rather boring place. Imagine if nothing but romance novels, country music, 18th century French paintings, and boxed wine were all we had…. […]

Make it your profile picture. Do it now! (original image via hollywire.com) October 23

Lamar Odom – I Don’t Care

Sick of hearing about Lamar Odom, cocaine, hookers and his wife? Me too. Let’s do something about it.

angry-gamer-kid-tryhard October 20

7 Ways to Get your Kid to Drop the Video Game…in a Flash

“No. I can’t leave,” my son says, his voice tight and low. “I’m in the middle of a raid!” These words are from the mouth of my tweener son, twelve years of know-it-all and dedicated gamer of the multiplayer variety. Typically, he shares his two-word vocabulary of “Good” and “K” sent via text from two feet […]

franknmuffin October 19

Over the Line Show #25 McDonald’s New FrankNMuffin!

On Today’s Show: Topics include Joe’s Grumpy Haircut, The Democratic Debates, Randy Quaid, McDonald’s All Day Breakfast Menu, Lamar Odom, The NBA, John Stamos and more.


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