Tag Archives: comedy

DWXHNK1431699548 May 16

This Week On Earth: May 10th – May 16th 2015

Hello Saturday! Let’s take a look back at what was notable in news, internet, and other shenanigans for the week of: May 10th – May 16th 2015   Puff, Puff…Can’t Pass…I’m On Satellite If you are on South African television having a debate about the legalization of marijuana, and the opposing side is nipping at […]

week-in-reveiw May 09

This Week On Earth: May 3rd – May 9th 2015

Hello Saturday! Let’s take a look back at what was notable in news, internet, and other shenanigans for the week of:  May 3rd – May 9th 2015   This Is What Happens When You Forget To Put Extra Ketchup In The To Go Bag A crazed (and probably hopped up on the drugs) man enters a restaurant […]

Ned with an advanced copy of  "50 Shades of Time-Traveling Vampire Love." May 07

Part two: LAP interviews self-proclaimed best-selling author Ima Knowitall

As I mentioned in Part I of my Long Awkward Pause interview wth Ima Knowitall, she is the author of more than 40 online novels this past year, and was recently honored by the Society of Illiterate Columnists (SIC) for her contributions to “…the advancement of people who write without the shackles of proper grammar.” […]

image May 05

LAP interviews self-proclaimed best-selling author Ima Knowitall

With the release of her highly anticipated online novel Time-Traveling Vampires of Love just a few days away, I held little hope of getting an interview with Ima Knowitall when I called her private number on assignment for Long Awkward Pause this morning. Knowitall is the author of more than 40 online novels this past […]

week-in-reveiw May 02

This Week On Earth: April 26th – May 2nd 2015

Hello Saturday! Let’s take a look back at what was notable in news, internet, and other shenanigans for the week of: April 26th – May 2nd 2015 Burning Down The House At the top of the list is the Baltimore Riots. What better way to show injustice over police violence then to violently destroy your city so […]

Credit: kcmeesha.com April 27

McDonald’s Welcomes Joseph Stalin To Its Management Team

The following internal McDonald’s memo has been leaked to a LAP reporter. Dear valued McDonald’s employees! Our company is going through challenging times, and the best way to overcome the challenges is to select the most capable leaders to take our company forward. It is with this goal in mind that we announce some very […]

bump-pic-TV April 19

LAP TV: Ridiculous News Titles And Ned’s Secrets To Incredible Acting

  Jacyln visits some ridiculous news titles found from the web and Ned takes you on an inside look into the world of acting:     MORE PLACES TO FIND LONG AWKWARD PAUSE: Facebook: Long Awkward Pause Twitter: @LongAwkPause Tumblr: Long Awkward Pause Mag Podcast: iTunes or PodOmatic LAP TV: YouTube Would you like to see a topic discussed on LAP?  Click HERE.

body-fat-percentage-livestrong-17385 April 09

Die Cellulite, Die

Cellulite, wherefore art thou? And by “wherefore” I definitely mean “why,” not the commonly mistaken “where,” especially because no one has trouble locating this enemy of our ass, ever. So tell me, cellulite, why? We eat right, we exercise, we have decent genes, yet there you are, the dreaded “surface of the moon” quivering into […]

obesity March 30

Science links obesity to fat, lazy microbes

Scientists at Cornell University have created a device capable of measuring the weight of a single cell. This is big news because it moves us beyond the limits of sub-gram measurements “nano,” “pico” and “femto,” and into an exciting new realm of measurements known as “zeppo,” “harpo” and “groucho.” This could eventually lead to the […]

X-factor-one-direction-2013 March 27

Your One Direction Questions Answered

Looking for answers about One Direction and why Zayn left? I’m here for you.

frozen_collage March 09

It’s March — Why aren’t you celebrating Frozen Food Month?

It’s been more than 80 years since Clarence Birdseye, inspired by ancient food preservation methods used by Arctic Eskimos, made history by introducing the very first frozen food option: “Savory Caribou on a Stick.” Though his first selection was met with little enthusiasm, Birdseye persisted and eventually created a line of frozen vegetables that many […]

Bacon wrapped pizza February 24

You Can’t Look Away From Little Caesars Bacon Crust Pizza

Big news, mediocre pizza fans! Little Caesars pizza has gone from tasting like poop to tasting like bacon-wrapped poop with the introduction of their bacon crust pizza. This comes as bad news to Catholics who just gave up junk food for Lent. Why couldn’t Little Caesars have waited to release this bacon orgy until after […]

manhood February 23

After 50 Shades of Magic Mike, men are trying to recover their manhood

It was a tough week for the male persuasion. However, now that the 50 Shades of dust has settled, men are emerging from the proverbial rubble a bit shellshocked and checking for survivors. Not only did we go head-to-head with the release of 50 Shades, we were also flanked by Valentine’s Day AND word of […]

Fifty_Shades_of_Grey_1 February 19

LAP Interviews ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Moviegoers

Since the release of Fifty Shades of Grey over Valentine’s Day weekend, everyone’s been talking (at a volume low enough so that no one can actually hear them) about this cinematic interpretation of E.L. James’s seminal contribution to literature. We’ve all seen who’s reading Fifty Shades of Grey, but who’s willing to pay ten bucks to […]

stormtrooperfeature February 14

The Saturday Six: Stormtroopers Are People Too!

  With the new Star Wars movie on the horizon, the Death Star Public Relations team is looking for ways to beef up the tainted image of the Galactic Empire. They say there is no such thing as bad press…but Darth Vader and company have a lot of ill feelings to try to patch. Plus […]

source: greenbergcommunications.com February 09

Updated Cliches For The Social Media World

Cliches have been around for centuries. We all know them. We all use them. Some of us love them. Some of us love them too much. One subject cliches have yet to tackle is: Social Media! You know…Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, FarmersOnly.com, etc. We understand that most of these sayings were written around the same time that […]

valentinesfeature February 07

The Saturday Six: Creepy Vintage Valentine’s Day Cards

  It’s that time of year to celebrate Love and Black History. And who doesn’t love black history? See what we did there? This week we are going to travel back in time. We are going to travel back to a much simpler era where life was grand, cars were a novelty, smoking was expected, and […]

source: dividedstates.com February 06

Post Your Brian Williams Misrememberances Here.

Brian Williams. He said his helicopter was shot down, but now…not so much. Long Awkward Pause is your place to shoot Brian Williams down with your derisive misrememberances.

brideandgroomfeature January 31

The Saturday Six: Scary Wedding Couples

   Here comes the bride… All dressed in… What?! What do you do when your lovely bride to be wants to dress like characters from Lord of the Rings? Do you start off your marriage on a ‘hell no!’? Or do you give in and look ridiculous for that one day… …plus the $2000 worth […]

babyfeature January 24

The Saturday Six: Awkward Baby Photos

   Those precious baby years of development and wonder only happen once. Think about those baby wide sparkly eyes, the cute little high pitched laughter, the pudgy baby feets, the acceptable double baby chins… Awwww! Remember to capture these moments while you can, because one day those cute, little marshmallow sponges of curiosity will turn into […]

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