Category Archives: LAP

wtf July 26

The Saturday Six: Provocative Doodles

   David Jablow is a multi-media artist who took some suggestive mid-2oth century “doodle pads” and added his own creative flair to them. Remember kiddies, this is back before internet porn. This is what you call: Do-it-yourself-porn. Hopefully you good at drawing…accessories.     Below is the doodle we picked to feature on this week’s SS6 because of […]

Musical Legend: Weird Al Yankovic July 21

The Over The Line Show #7 with Special Guests: Brooke Burns, Adam Baldwin, and Weird Al Yankovic

On Today’s Show: Special Guests:         Listen to the Show Here:   You can download the episode or listen on the Podomatic App here: http://longawkwardpause.podomatic.com/entry/2014-07-17T09_59_58-07_00 Official PauseCast Page: http://longawkwardpause.podomatic.com/ iTunes Link: Listen Here You can contact Jack or Joe for topic suggestions or to be a guest HERE You can download the podomatic app for your […]

headline July 19

The Saturday Six: WTF Headlines

  Grandfather had a special way to fold his newspaper when he read it. It was quite the origami master fold. It was so he could read the paper easier and then end with the jumble puzzle as a treat for getting through the boring political sections. For those unfamiliar with newspapers, they are long […]

image July 14

LAP’s Staff Contest Winner Pictures

Congratulations again to our contest winner, Catherine! She’s the author of the blog, Always a Redhead, and sole proprietor of the only Long Awkward Pause swag on the planet to date.  Well, that is unless there’s another Long Awkward Pause that we’re not aware of that is preparing to spank our butts with a copyright infringement suit […]

statelaws July 12

The Saturday Six: Weird Driving Laws

  If you haven’t seen the show, House of Cards, it’s about the corruption and intrigue behind the nation’s capital. Did we mention it stars a friend of ours? *Name drop in 5…4…3….* Kevin Spacey! In the show…between killing drunk Congressmen, back stabbing the President, fighting the Chinese, and some good old fashion lesbian sex…you get […]

monday-bad-weekend-someecards July 07

51 Thoughts We All Have After a Long Weekend

1. It possibly be Monday already. It was just starting to feel like a mini vacation, and the realization that I have to go back to being me makes me want to give up on life. 2. I’m broke now, so it’s looking like I’ll be living off of that box of Cap’n Crunch that’s […]

inappfeature July 05

The Saturday Six: Inappropriate Kid’s Notes

   Oh, kids… They are the light of your life, the pain in your neck, the meaning of your existence, and the drain on your pocket book. So when one of your little offspring comes waddling up to you in their little feety pajamas with the back butt flap half buttoned and hands you a […]

themoreyouknow July 03

This Week I Learned

Troy aka Ad-libbed was supposed to post today but went into the hospital for emergency kidney surgery. He is doing well, but will have to stay in the hospital for a couple of days and get his fill of red jello. Please send him some well wishes in the comments section below. In the meantime….Reddit.com […]

meeks June 28

The Saturday Six: Sexy Mugshot Guy

  What does it take to get your 15 minutes of fame on the internet? Apparently some baby blue eyes and five counts of weapon possession and one count of gang related activities. Jeremy Meek’s mugshot went viral after the Stockton Police Department released his mugshot on Facebook. Who knew the police department was so […]

LAP Aniversary Banner June 19

Long Awkward Pause Pop Quiz Winner Announced!

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Boy, placing an exclamation point after a contest announcement really hypes it up, eh?  Exclamation points add so much excitement!  Without one, the context completely changes. But enough of the grammar lessons, because it’s time to reveal the winner of the Long Awkward Pause Pop Quiz!  And one more exclamation point just for fun! Here […]

pombfeature June 14

The Saturday Six: Animal Photo Bombs

 ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ The world is divided up into two categories: Animal Lovers and Animal Haters. The Animal Lovers enjoy all sorts of living creatures. They like the furry ones. They like the slimy ones. They like them in the yard, they like them in the car. They would like to take them to the bar.Yes, Sam […]

Balloons on a white background June 12

Help us Celebrate our One Year Anniversary with a Chance to Win Cash and Prizes!

Today is a very special day here at Long Awkward Pause because it marks our first year anniversary! *Throws confetti* *Spits out confetti* After all the hard work and bantering that’s gone on over the past year, we’ve decided to conduct a pop quiz today to see how well you think you know the staff. For the first time […]

penis June 07

The Saturday Six: Bad Children’s Books

  The bed time story… A tradition that is fading fast. Now instead of the bedtime story being read by an ever-tired parent, it’s usually the TV or an iPhone that lulls the child into a deep, deep, slumber. That’s pretty sad. We at Long Awkward Pause are working on an app that will read children’s stories […]

spacey2 June 02

The Over The Line Show with Special Guest: Kevin Spacey

On Today’s Show: Special Guest: Actor Kevin Spacey from House of Cards: Jack and Joe talk to Kevin Spacey who rose to stardom in the ’90s with the films; The Usual Suspects (1995) and Se7en (1995). Other notable films include LA Confidential, American Beauty, Beyond the Sea, and Superman Returns. In addition to film acting, Spacey also […]

pinterest-boards May 31

The Saturday Six: Truth In Pinterest Boards

  _________________________________________________________________________________________________ Pinterest used to be about knitting, cooking, inspirational quotations, kittens, puppies, weddings, makeup and fashion. That’s when women ruled the Pinterest boards and everything was rainbows and unicorns on rainbows. Men thought Pinterest was stupid and gay… and women and gay people were OK with that. “Let them think that. Stay away from […]

LAPpic May 29

LAP Investigates: The Ice Cream Shoppe

Here at LAP, we keep our finger on the pulse of all the latest controversies and sources of political discord. Perhaps the most significant and polarizing issue facing the modern world has come to a head recently, and in an unprecedented exposé, we’ve gone undercover at the very source of the conflict—no, not Ukraine—the local […]

o-ASSEMBLING-FURNITURE-facebook copy May 27

LAP’s 12 Step Guide to Assembling Cheap Furniture

  Knowing how to assemble cheap furniture is an important domestic skill that is often overlooked today.  It’s not as valuable as learning how to iron out the perfect pleat, or how to remove alcohol-enriched vomit stains from your microsuede, but it’s up there. Please note that no matter what type of cheap furniture piece you decide […]

us-map-wallpaper-6 May 24

The Saturday Six: The United States of What?

  _________________________________________________________________________________________________ It’s no secret that the rest of the world is not all that fond of Americans; it’s somewhat rightly deserved. American’s are proud. We are even proud of things we should not be proud of, like the fact that we are #1 in obesity, or #1 in daytime talk show drivel, or even #1 […]

smalltalk May 20

Introblurting:  Raising the ‘Socially Awkward’ Bar

Everybody please put your hands together in party-clap fashion for today’s guest poster, Rachelle from A Rich Full Life In Spite Of It, as she dances her way down the Soul Train line and takes her place in front of the podium and hot-mic.  *Feedback*  Be sure to check her site out HERE, where Rachelle gives her […]

batmanvssuperman May 17

The Saturday Six: Why So Sad, Batman?

     ____________________________________________________________________________________  It was announced that Ben Affleck was going to play Batman in the new movie: Batman vs. Superman. And the internet imploded…Rubix’s Cubes solved themselves…Zebras and Lions started dinning together…fruit cakes started selling in droves… No one wanted Ben Affleck to play Batman. Why? I don’t know. Ben can do brooding and […]

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