Category Archives: LAP

saturn1 July 27

Heavenly Bodies

Long Awkward Pause readers are hip, informed and intelligent people. Because this is true, you like to Science, and I’ve been assigned an article to expand your universe. At least to bring space to your place. So I’m about to get all Neil deGrasse Tyson here. Maybe you thought by reading the title that this […]

crows June 17

15 Regrettable Circumstances That Might Be More Depressing Than Game of Thrones

If you haven’t watched the season finale of Game of Thrones yet – or, more likely, haven’t been spoiled by the Facebook friend who only pauses his political commentary to publicly live-morn the deaths of beloved TV characters he naively assumed were untouchable – chances are you have to wait until one of your benevolent […]

graduation (1) May 27

2015 Advice To Graduates

Howard the manager got a request for a graduation speaker.  I was not his first choice to fill the ticket.  Actually I think he tried to get a guest blogger when the rest of the staff were busy, but the email found my inbox.  He cautioned me about not making a scene or something like […]

credit: grail games April 29

Win One Zero One The Card Game!

Now that Long Awkward Pause has hit the big time…and by big time we mean ALL of our Moms now read it…we have stock piled a mass of things to give away. (Big thanks to my Mom for finally jumping on board. She was the last lone hold out.) Who doesn’t like to receive things for free? […]

Billy Gardell March 28

Over the Line Podcast #14 with Billy Gardell and Phil Keoghan of Amazing Race

On Today’s Show: Special Guests: Billy Gardell from “Mike and Molly” Phil Keoghan host of “The Amazing Race” Plus: Risk vs. Monopoly, Chris Hardwick vs The Daily Show, X-Files Listen to the Show Here: You can download the episode or listen on the Podomatic App here: http://longawkwardpause.podomatic.com/entry/2015-03-26T19_22_44-07_00 Official PauseCast Page: http://longawkwardpause.podomatic.com/ iTunes Link: Coming Soon You can contact […]

st-patricks-day-2015_st-patricks-day-london-24_99ab56b2b98734fb0e9fda4d314e989c March 17

The Long Awkward St. Patrick’s Day Review

I’m trying to type quietly because I want to die.  In a burst of corporate largesse, Howard flipped me the LAP Corporate Black Card.  He commissioned me and De Voss to conduct holiday research on St. Patrick’s Day from a Boston pub crawl perspective.  What follows are my notes, made along the way.  Enjoy.  I’m […]

Fifty_Shades_of_Grey_1 February 19

LAP Interviews ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Moviegoers

Since the release of Fifty Shades of Grey over Valentine’s Day weekend, everyone’s been talking (at a volume low enough so that no one can actually hear them) about this cinematic interpretation of E.L. James’s seminal contribution to literature. We’ve all seen who’s reading Fifty Shades of Grey, but who’s willing to pay ten bucks to […]

TED-post-2 February 16

Spoiler Alert:  Ted 2 Movie Trailer Review

America’s favorite beer-battered stuffed animal is back in theaters soon, which will be Seth MacFarlane’s second big-screen crack at animating a character that doesn’t sound exactly like Peter Griffin. The first installment of the series added Ted’s name to a growing list of other famous character bears including:  Fozzie, Winnie, Teddy, Smokey, Yogi, and one of these […]

source: greenbergcommunications.com February 09

Updated Cliches For The Social Media World

Cliches have been around for centuries. We all know them. We all use them. Some of us love them. Some of us love them too much. One subject cliches have yet to tackle is: Social Media! You know…Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, FarmersOnly.com, etc. We understand that most of these sayings were written around the same time that […]

Valentines-Day-752x483 February 02

The LAP Guide to Valentine’s Day

Here at Long Awkward Pause, we like to think of ourselves as a full-service organization.  At least that’s what our manager, Howard, says when he tells us to get him coffee.  In the spirit of spreading that special Valentine’s Day feeling, the staff put together a short list of V-Day gifts that will give your […]

CurtisArmstrong3 January 30

Over the Line Podcast #13 with Actor Curtis Armstrong Music by Barely Eagle

On Today’s Show: Special Guest Curtis Armstrong: Curtis has been in many movies including Revenge of the Nerds, Risky Business, and Better off Dead. His TV credits include Moonlighting and King of the Nerds. Music by Barely Eagle. Plus: Super Bowl Prop Bets, Female Ghostbusters, Late Night TV, John Oliver, We Are The World, Justin Bieber […]

babyfeature January 24

The Saturday Six: Awkward Baby Photos

   Those precious baby years of development and wonder only happen once. Think about those baby wide sparkly eyes, the cute little high pitched laughter, the pudgy baby feets, the acceptable double baby chins… Awwww! Remember to capture these moments while you can, because one day those cute, little marshmallow sponges of curiosity will turn into […]

thirftstorefet January 17

The Saturday Six: Enhanced Thrift Store Paintings

  *singing* I’m going to pop some tags…got twenty dollars in my pocket…got kicked out of the thrift store for singing this song too much…my hair kinda makes me look like Roger from Doug…*done singing* David Irvine is an artist on a mission to save bad paintings from their own wooded country road drippy selves. He is a […]

Screen Shot 2015-01-15 at 5.21.37 AM January 15

5 Steps for Instant Instagram Success

So you’ve finally decided to share your selfies with a larger audience and joined Instagram, huh? Instagram is a square, heavily-filtered jungle home to caffeine addicts, social networking narcissists, proud pet owners, amateur chefs, and people who use #kendalljenner on all of their posts. When you’re just getting started, it can be difficult to determine where […]

toddler January 14

Guest Post: Today My Toddler Didn’t Break Me

If the great Gavin McInnes, founder of Vice and godfather of the hipster movement, taught us anything, it’s that people take parenting way too seriously. There is a definitive point where we leave the realm of good parenting and enter into the already exceeding capacity pool of idiots. A man should be defined by how […]

Chris_Parnell January 11

Over the Line Podcast #12 with Actor Chris Parnell

On Today’s Show: Special Guest Chris Parnell: He is best known as a cast member on Saturday Night Live from 1998–2006. Chris also had a role as Dr. Leo Spaceman on 30 Rock. Currently Parnell is Cyril Figgis on the animated comedy Archer, and Jerry on the Adult Swim animated sci-fi/comedy Rick and Morty. Plus: Grilled Cheese, Nicole Kidman, […]

bedfeature January 10

The Saturday Six: Pretty Amazing Beds

   Doesn’t matter how rich or how poor you are… The bed is the one piece of furniture that makes your house a home… It’s the one thing you look forward too at the end of a long day… It’s the one thing you don’t want to get out of on a cold day… It […]

fliesfeature January 03

The Saturday Six: Making Hilarious Art with Dead Flies

  Swedish photographer Magnus Muhr was really bored one day…and also his house was infested with flies. So… You know how the saying goes…when life hands you dead flies, make dead fly art. Just like Muhr and his dead fly art, we have put together some dead fly art of our own,,,in the form of a poem. About […]

over the line display button December 29

Over the Line Podcast No 11 2014 Year in Review, plus Music by Mirage Box

On Today’s Show: The boys discuss the events and people who made 2014. Some of the discussion: Ellen Page, Taylor Swift, World Cup, Ben Affleck, Dead People of 2014, Martha Stewart, Malaysia Airliner, Ebola, Ferguson, Putin, Elevator Violence, Three Boobs, Target, and more. This episodes musical guest: Mirage Box. Mirage Box’s music has been described […]

elderyfeature December 27

The Saturday Six: When You Don’t Care Anymore

  Some people fear getting old. And some people can’t wait. There are some nice benefits to it: discounts, retirement, early dinners, electric scooters, jello, being an extra on those Lifeline Medical Alert commercials, and most importantly, being able to say whatever-the-hell you want, when you want. “Can you believe Bob just said that about […]

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