Category Archives: LAP

oxforddictionary August 31

Word Has It

One fun annual event you might be unaware of is the Oxford English Dictionary’s release of new words. This announcement always entertains. At the same time, it can be frightening because you can think of it as a thermostat of how fast we’re dumbing the hell out of ourselves. Srsly. But on to the awesomesauce! […]

front August 28

Over the Line Podcast #18 Deez Nuts For President

On Today’s Show: Topics include House of Cards, Sex with a wax Nicki Minaj,  destroying a Picasso, Ashley Madison, The best SNL KFC Spokesmen, Stupid extremsits math, The View

source: muppet.wikia.com August 19

Over the Line Podcast #17 SMH HBO

On Today’s Show: Topics include Sesame Street on HBO, Chinese Fire Drills, Warren G Harding’s mistress, Taco Bell serving alcohol, Star Wars makeup, and Joe’s version of SMH

source: feministdad.tumblr.com August 12

Over the Line Podcast #16 Barn Swallows And Corn Dogs

On Today’s Show: Topics include restaurants for masochists, Donald Trump, Bruce Willis movies, West Texas, Barn Swallows, and Corn Dogs. And some exciting news!

source: LongAwkwardPause.com August 05

Over the Line Podcast #15 with Guest Christopher De Voss

On Today’s Show: Special Guest: Christopher De Voss from Long Awkward Pause. Chris does his best to try to keep up, especially since it’s been twenty years since he has been behind a microphone, as the boys talk about Cecil the Lion, politics in Ohio, Uber, Hulk Hogan and Roddy Pipper.   Listen to the Show Here: You […]

crave case leftovers August 04

Hair of the Dog That You Bit

I’ve been fortunate enough to have some great food experiences around the country and around the world. I’ve had crepes from a cart across from Notre Dame in Paris. I’ve eaten at Michelin-starred restaurants in New York. I’ve eaten sushi off the body of a naked Ariana Grande while on one of the Sultan of […]

saturn1 July 27

Heavenly Bodies

Long Awkward Pause readers are hip, informed and intelligent people. Because this is true, you like to Science, and I’ve been assigned an article to expand your universe. At least to bring space to your place. So I’m about to get all Neil deGrasse Tyson here. Maybe you thought by reading the title that this […]

crows June 17

15 Regrettable Circumstances That Might Be More Depressing Than Game of Thrones

If you haven’t watched the season finale of Game of Thrones yet – or, more likely, haven’t been spoiled by the Facebook friend who only pauses his political commentary to publicly live-morn the deaths of beloved TV characters he naively assumed were untouchable – chances are you have to wait until one of your benevolent […]

graduation (1) May 27

2015 Advice To Graduates

Howard the manager got a request for a graduation speaker.  I was not his first choice to fill the ticket.  Actually I think he tried to get a guest blogger when the rest of the staff were busy, but the email found my inbox.  He cautioned me about not making a scene or something like […]

credit: grail games April 29

Win One Zero One The Card Game!

Now that Long Awkward Pause has hit the big time…and by big time we mean ALL of our Moms now read it…we have stock piled a mass of things to give away. (Big thanks to my Mom for finally jumping on board. She was the last lone hold out.) Who doesn’t like to receive things for free? […]

Billy Gardell March 28

Over the Line Podcast #14 with Billy Gardell and Phil Keoghan of Amazing Race

On Today’s Show: Special Guests: Billy Gardell from “Mike and Molly” Phil Keoghan host of “The Amazing Race” Plus: Risk vs. Monopoly, Chris Hardwick vs The Daily Show, X-Files Listen to the Show Here: You can download the episode or listen on the Podomatic App here: http://longawkwardpause.podomatic.com/entry/2015-03-26T19_22_44-07_00 Official PauseCast Page: http://longawkwardpause.podomatic.com/ iTunes Link: iTunes You can contact Jack […]

st-patricks-day-2015_st-patricks-day-london-24_99ab56b2b98734fb0e9fda4d314e989c March 17

The Long Awkward St. Patrick’s Day Review

I’m trying to type quietly because I want to die.  In a burst of corporate largesse, Howard flipped me the LAP Corporate Black Card.  He commissioned me and De Voss to conduct holiday research on St. Patrick’s Day from a Boston pub crawl perspective.  What follows are my notes, made along the way.  Enjoy.  I’m […]

Fifty_Shades_of_Grey_1 February 19

LAP Interviews ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Moviegoers

Since the release of Fifty Shades of Grey over Valentine’s Day weekend, everyone’s been talking (at a volume low enough so that no one can actually hear them) about this cinematic interpretation of E.L. James’s seminal contribution to literature. We’ve all seen who’s reading Fifty Shades of Grey, but who’s willing to pay ten bucks to […]

TED-post-2 February 16

Spoiler Alert:  Ted 2 Movie Trailer Review

America’s favorite beer-battered stuffed animal is back in theaters soon, which will be Seth MacFarlane’s second big-screen crack at animating a character that doesn’t sound exactly like Peter Griffin. The first installment of the series added Ted’s name to a growing list of other famous character bears including:  Fozzie, Winnie, Teddy, Smokey, Yogi, and one of these […]

source: greenbergcommunications.com February 09

Updated Cliches For The Social Media World

Cliches have been around for centuries. We all know them. We all use them. Some of us love them. Some of us love them too much. One subject cliches have yet to tackle is: Social Media! You know…Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, FarmersOnly.com, etc. We understand that most of these sayings were written around the same time that […]

Valentines-Day-752x483 February 02

The LAP Guide to Valentine’s Day

Here at Long Awkward Pause, we like to think of ourselves as a full-service organization.  At least that’s what our manager, Howard, says when he tells us to get him coffee.  In the spirit of spreading that special Valentine’s Day feeling, the staff put together a short list of V-Day gifts that will give your […]

CurtisArmstrong3 January 30

Over the Line Podcast #13 with Actor Curtis Armstrong Music by Barely Eagle

On Today’s Show: Special Guest Curtis Armstrong: Curtis has been in many movies including Revenge of the Nerds, Risky Business, and Better off Dead. His TV credits include Moonlighting and King of the Nerds. Music by Barely Eagle. Plus: Super Bowl Prop Bets, Female Ghostbusters, Late Night TV, John Oliver, We Are The World, Justin Bieber […]

babyfeature January 24

The Saturday Six: Awkward Baby Photos

   Those precious baby years of development and wonder only happen once. Think about those baby wide sparkly eyes, the cute little high pitched laughter, the pudgy baby feets, the acceptable double baby chins… Awwww! Remember to capture these moments while you can, because one day those cute, little marshmallow sponges of curiosity will turn into […]

thirftstorefet January 17

The Saturday Six: Enhanced Thrift Store Paintings

  *singing* I’m going to pop some tags…got twenty dollars in my pocket…got kicked out of the thrift store for singing this song too much…my hair kinda makes me look like Roger from Doug…*done singing* David Irvine is an artist on a mission to save bad paintings from their own wooded country road drippy selves. He is a […]

Screen Shot 2015-01-15 at 5.21.37 AM January 15

5 Steps for Instant Instagram Success

So you’ve finally decided to share your selfies with a larger audience and joined Instagram, huh? Instagram is a square, heavily-filtered jungle home to caffeine addicts, social networking narcissists, proud pet owners, amateur chefs, and people who use #kendalljenner on all of their posts. When you’re just getting started, it can be difficult to determine where […]

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