Category Archives: Humor

bump-pic-TV April 19

LAP TV: Ridiculous News Titles And Ned’s Secrets To Incredible Acting

  Jacyln visits some ridiculous news titles found from the web and Ned takes you on an inside look into the world of acting:    

(image by USPS) April 08

Other Things Maya Angelou Didn’t Say, On A Stamp

Last year, noted author and poet Maya Angelou passed away. The United States Postal Service responded in the only way it could, by designing a stamp in tribute to her. Actually, a stamp isn’t the only way they could have responded. They also could have sent a nice card to her family because, after all, […]

stan lee and spider-man spidey 1974 electric company ctw marvel comics bronze age live action actor danny April 04

SPIDER-MAN SAVES EASTER!

Back in the 1970’s there was a weird phenomenon where the entertainment industry (in collusion with Hallmark) decided in order to take our minds off the Cold War and the oil crisis, our precious holidays were under attack and therefore had to be saved. You can still see the post-traumatic stress effects of this if […]

obesity March 30

Science links obesity to fat, lazy microbes

Scientists at Cornell University have created a device capable of measuring the weight of a single cell. This is big news because it moves us beyond the limits of sub-gram measurements “nano,” “pico” and “femto,” and into an exciting new realm of measurements known as “zeppo,” “harpo” and “groucho.” This could eventually lead to the […]

X-factor-one-direction-2013 March 27

Your One Direction Questions Answered

Looking for answers about One Direction and why Zayn left? I’m here for you.

st-patricks-day-2015_st-patricks-day-london-24_99ab56b2b98734fb0e9fda4d314e989c March 17

The Long Awkward St. Patrick’s Day Review

I’m trying to type quietly because I want to die.  In a burst of corporate largesse, Howard flipped me the LAP Corporate Black Card.  He commissioned me and De Voss to conduct holiday research on St. Patrick’s Day from a Boston pub crawl perspective.  What follows are my notes, made along the way.  Enjoy.  I’m […]

frozen_collage March 09

It’s March — Why aren’t you celebrating Frozen Food Month?

It’s been more than 80 years since Clarence Birdseye, inspired by ancient food preservation methods used by Arctic Eskimos, made history by introducing the very first frozen food option: “Savory Caribou on a Stick.” Though his first selection was met with little enthusiasm, Birdseye persisted and eventually created a line of frozen vegetables that many […]

manhood February 23

After 50 Shades of Magic Mike, men are trying to recover their manhood

It was a tough week for the male persuasion. However, now that the 50 Shades of dust has settled, men are emerging from the proverbial rubble a bit shellshocked and checking for survivors. Not only did we go head-to-head with the release of 50 Shades, we were also flanked by Valentine’s Day AND word of […]

reality_logo_im_a_celebrity_0 February 20

To Be Celebrity or Not To Be Celebrity

Celebrities often get a bad rap. Why? Because often they are spoiled, rich and famous. Some even like to complain about being rich and famous. That is  weird. Deep down though, who doesn’t wish they were one? It would be nice to have millions of adoring fans. It would also be nice to make headlines whenever you decided to alter our […]

TED-post-2 February 16

Spoiler Alert:  Ted 2 Movie Trailer Review

America’s favorite beer-battered stuffed animal is back in theaters soon, which will be Seth MacFarlane’s second big-screen crack at animating a character that doesn’t sound exactly like Peter Griffin. The first installment of the series added Ted’s name to a growing list of other famous character bears including:  Fozzie, Winnie, Teddy, Smokey, Yogi, and one of these […]

stormtrooperfeature February 14

The Saturday Six: Stormtroopers Are People Too!

  With the new Star Wars movie on the horizon, the Death Star Public Relations team is looking for ways to beef up the tainted image of the Galactic Empire. They say there is no such thing as bad press…but Darth Vader and company have a lot of ill feelings to try to patch. Plus […]

50 shades wine February 12

This Weekend’s Forecast: Sex and Wine

You know what’s happening this weekend is, don’t you? Let me give you a hint – it’s a special day that celebrates love. Many women have been waiting months for this day so that they can revel in a night of pure romance.   Meanwhile, many men will be spending a night out with their significant […]

source: greenbergcommunications.com February 09

Updated Cliches For The Social Media World

Cliches have been around for centuries. We all know them. We all use them. Some of us love them. Some of us love them too much. One subject cliches have yet to tackle is: Social Media! You know…Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, FarmersOnly.com, etc. We understand that most of these sayings were written around the same time that […]

valentinesfeature February 07

The Saturday Six: Creepy Vintage Valentine’s Day Cards

  It’s that time of year to celebrate Love and Black History. And who doesn’t love black history? See what we did there? This week we are going to travel back in time. We are going to travel back to a much simpler era where life was grand, cars were a novelty, smoking was expected, and […]

source: dividedstates.com February 06

Post Your Brian Williams Misrememberances Here.

Brian Williams. He said his helicopter was shot down, but now…not so much. Long Awkward Pause is your place to shoot Brian Williams down with your derisive misrememberances.

Valentines-Day-752x483 February 02

The LAP Guide to Valentine’s Day

Here at Long Awkward Pause, we like to think of ourselves as a full-service organization.  At least that’s what our manager, Howard, says when he tells us to get him coffee.  In the spirit of spreading that special Valentine’s Day feeling, the staff put together a short list of V-Day gifts that will give your […]

brideandgroomfeature January 31

The Saturday Six: Scary Wedding Couples

   Here comes the bride… All dressed in… What?! What do you do when your lovely bride to be wants to dress like characters from Lord of the Rings? Do you start off your marriage on a ‘hell no!’? Or do you give in and look ridiculous for that one day… …plus the $2000 worth […]

movies January 29

L.A.P. Reviews Movies It Hasn’t Seen Yet: Strange Magic, Paddington, The Boy Next Door

Our current budget does not allow us to actually go to the movies, so instead we are going to give our reviews based on what we think the movie might be like. We have a very scientific method for this: actor/actress + director – every movie they ever made/projected box office success (hype*length of film) […]

tumblr_nijv6y2EGd1tqp5f4o1_1280 January 26

Captain America and Star Lord Make A Bet On The Super Bowl

Whenever there is a major championship sporting event, celebrities and politicians seem to appear to make bizarre wagers over the contest’s winner. Mayors and Governors will placate the media by betting local cuisine or touristy tchotchkes. It was cute and fun about 25 years ago when it first started happening, but now it’s a yawn […]

babyfeature January 24

The Saturday Six: Awkward Baby Photos

   Those precious baby years of development and wonder only happen once. Think about those baby wide sparkly eyes, the cute little high pitched laughter, the pudgy baby feets, the acceptable double baby chins… Awwww! Remember to capture these moments while you can, because one day those cute, little marshmallow sponges of curiosity will turn into […]

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