Category Archives: Humor

manhood February 23

After 50 Shades of Magic Mike, men are trying to recover their manhood

It was a tough week for the male persuasion. However, now that the 50 Shades of dust has settled, men are emerging from the proverbial rubble a bit shellshocked and checking for survivors. Not only did we go head-to-head with the release of 50 Shades, we were also flanked by Valentine’s Day AND word of […]

reality_logo_im_a_celebrity_0 February 20

To Be Celebrity or Not To Be Celebrity

Celebrities often get a bad rap. Why? Because often they are spoiled, rich and famous. Some even like to complain about being rich and famous. That is  weird. Deep down though, who doesn’t wish they were one? It would be nice to have millions of adoring fans. It would also be nice to make headlines whenever you decided to alter our […]

TED-post-2 February 16

Spoiler Alert:  Ted 2 Movie Trailer Review

America’s favorite beer-battered stuffed animal is back in theaters soon, which will be Seth MacFarlane’s second big-screen crack at animating a character that doesn’t sound exactly like Peter Griffin. The first installment of the series added Ted’s name to a growing list of other famous character bears including:  Fozzie, Winnie, Teddy, Smokey, Yogi, and one of these […]

stormtrooperfeature February 14

The Saturday Six: Stormtroopers Are People Too!

  With the new Star Wars movie on the horizon, the Death Star Public Relations team is looking for ways to beef up the tainted image of the Galactic Empire. They say there is no such thing as bad press…but Darth Vader and company have a lot of ill feelings to try to patch. Plus […]

50 shades wine February 12

This Weekend’s Forecast: Sex and Wine

You know what’s happening this weekend is, don’t you? Let me give you a hint – it’s a special day that celebrates love. Many women have been waiting months for this day so that they can revel in a night of pure romance.   Meanwhile, many men will be spending a night out with their significant […]

source: greenbergcommunications.com February 09

Updated Cliches For The Social Media World

Cliches have been around for centuries. We all know them. We all use them. Some of us love them. Some of us love them too much. One subject cliches have yet to tackle is: Social Media! You know…Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, FarmersOnly.com, etc. We understand that most of these sayings were written around the same time that […]

valentinesfeature February 07

The Saturday Six: Creepy Vintage Valentine’s Day Cards

  It’s that time of year to celebrate Love and Black History. And who doesn’t love black history? See what we did there? This week we are going to travel back in time. We are going to travel back to a much simpler era where life was grand, cars were a novelty, smoking was expected, and […]

source: dividedstates.com February 06

Post Your Brian Williams Misrememberances Here.

Brian Williams. He said his helicopter was shot down, but now…not so much. Long Awkward Pause is your place to shoot Brian Williams down with your derisive misrememberances.

Valentines-Day-752x483 February 02

The LAP Guide to Valentine’s Day

Here at Long Awkward Pause, we like to think of ourselves as a full-service organization.  At least that’s what our manager, Howard, says when he tells us to get him coffee.  In the spirit of spreading that special Valentine’s Day feeling, the staff put together a short list of V-Day gifts that will give your […]

brideandgroomfeature January 31

The Saturday Six: Scary Wedding Couples

   Here comes the bride… All dressed in… What?! What do you do when your lovely bride to be wants to dress like characters from Lord of the Rings? Do you start off your marriage on a ‘hell no!’? Or do you give in and look ridiculous for that one day… …plus the $2000 worth […]

movies January 29

L.A.P. Reviews Movies It Hasn’t Seen Yet: Strange Magic, Paddington, The Boy Next Door

Our current budget does not allow us to actually go to the movies, so instead we are going to give our reviews based on what we think the movie might be like. We have a very scientific method for this: actor/actress + director – every movie they ever made/projected box office success (hype*length of film) […]

tumblr_nijv6y2EGd1tqp5f4o1_1280 January 26

Captain America and Star Lord Make A Bet On The Super Bowl

Whenever there is a major championship sporting event, celebrities and politicians seem to appear to make bizarre wagers over the contest’s winner. Mayors and Governors will placate the media by betting local cuisine or touristy tchotchkes. It was cute and fun about 25 years ago when it first started happening, but now it’s a yawn […]

babyfeature January 24

The Saturday Six: Awkward Baby Photos

   Those precious baby years of development and wonder only happen once. Think about those baby wide sparkly eyes, the cute little high pitched laughter, the pudgy baby feets, the acceptable double baby chins… Awwww! Remember to capture these moments while you can, because one day those cute, little marshmallow sponges of curiosity will turn into […]

shuttle January 19

A catchy NASA acronym could lead to restrooms on Mars

When NASA director Dr. Charles F. Bolden Jr. said that this year’s mission selection process was the most difficult session in more than two decades, it got me thinking: I wonder how Barbara Eden is doing? After a quick Google search found her alive and well, a second thought crossed my mind: What is the […]

YouTube January 18

LAP TV: Rejected Animations And 5 WTF Diet Trends

First on LAP TV is our new partners at Destructive Brilliance Studios along with LAP’s own graphic artist Adam Sendek. They have been working on a new opening for LAP TV. Below is some of the animations that did not make the cut. *Spoiler Alert* Kim Kardashian’s butt might make a cameo.     Next up is […]

thirftstorefet January 17

The Saturday Six: Enhanced Thrift Store Paintings

  *singing* I’m going to pop some tags…got twenty dollars in my pocket…got kicked out of the thrift store for singing this song too much…my hair kinda makes me look like Roger from Doug…*done singing* David Irvine is an artist on a mission to save bad paintings from their own wooded country road drippy selves. He is a […]

Screen Shot 2015-01-15 at 5.21.37 AM January 15

5 Steps for Instant Instagram Success

So you’ve finally decided to share your selfies with a larger audience and joined Instagram, huh? Instagram is a square, heavily-filtered jungle home to caffeine addicts, social networking narcissists, proud pet owners, amateur chefs, and people who use #kendalljenner on all of their posts. When you’re just getting started, it can be difficult to determine where […]

toddler January 14

Guest Post: Today My Toddler Didn’t Break Me

If the great Gavin McInnes, founder of Vice and godfather of the hipster movement, taught us anything, it’s that people take parenting way too seriously. There is a definitive point where we leave the realm of good parenting and enter into the already exceeding capacity pool of idiots. A man should be defined by how […]

golden+globes+web January 12

A RECAP OF THE 72ND ANNUAL GOLDEN GLOBE AWARDS IN CASE YOU MISSED IT

Alright! It’s time for the 72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards! The Golden Globes are bestowed by the 93 members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, recognizing excellence in film and television. There are 389 separate categories and all of them are for sale! Seriously, a Golden Globe is easier to buy than the host site […]

bedfeature January 10

The Saturday Six: Pretty Amazing Beds

   Doesn’t matter how rich or how poor you are… The bed is the one piece of furniture that makes your house a home… It’s the one thing you look forward too at the end of a long day… It’s the one thing you don’t want to get out of on a cold day… It […]

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