Category Archives: Humor

tumblr_nijv6y2EGd1tqp5f4o1_1280 January 26

Captain America and Star Lord Make A Bet On The Super Bowl

Whenever there is a major championship sporting event, celebrities and politicians seem to appear to make bizarre wagers over the contest’s winner. Mayors and Governors will placate the media by betting local cuisine or touristy tchotchkes. It was cute and fun about 25 years ago when it first started happening, but now it’s a yawn […]

babyfeature January 24

The Saturday Six: Awkward Baby Photos

   Those precious baby years of development and wonder only happen once. Think about those baby wide sparkly eyes, the cute little high pitched laughter, the pudgy baby feets, the acceptable double baby chins… Awwww! Remember to capture these moments while you can, because one day those cute, little marshmallow sponges of curiosity will turn into […]

shuttle January 19

A catchy NASA acronym could lead to restrooms on Mars

When NASA director Dr. Charles F. Bolden Jr. said that this year’s mission selection process was the most difficult session in more than two decades, it got me thinking: I wonder how Barbara Eden is doing? After a quick Google search found her alive and well, a second thought crossed my mind: What is the […]

YouTube January 18

LAP TV: Rejected Animations And 5 WTF Diet Trends

First on LAP TV is our new partners at Destructive Brilliance Studios along with LAP’s own graphic artist Adam Sendek. They have been working on a new opening for LAP TV. Below is some of the animations that did not make the cut. *Spoiler Alert* Kim Kardashian’s butt might make a cameo.     Next up is […]

thirftstorefet January 17

The Saturday Six: Enhanced Thrift Store Paintings

  *singing* I’m going to pop some tags…got twenty dollars in my pocket…got kicked out of the thrift store for singing this song too much…my hair kinda makes me look like Roger from Doug…*done singing* David Irvine is an artist on a mission to save bad paintings from their own wooded country road drippy selves. He is a […]

Screen Shot 2015-01-15 at 5.21.37 AM January 15

5 Steps for Instant Instagram Success

So you’ve finally decided to share your selfies with a larger audience and joined Instagram, huh? Instagram is a square, heavily-filtered jungle home to caffeine addicts, social networking narcissists, proud pet owners, amateur chefs, and people who use #kendalljenner on all of their posts. When you’re just getting started, it can be difficult to determine where […]

toddler January 14

Guest Post: Today My Toddler Didn’t Break Me

If the great Gavin McInnes, founder of Vice and godfather of the hipster movement, taught us anything, it’s that people take parenting way too seriously. There is a definitive point where we leave the realm of good parenting and enter into the already exceeding capacity pool of idiots. A man should be defined by how […]

golden+globes+web January 12

A RECAP OF THE 72ND ANNUAL GOLDEN GLOBE AWARDS IN CASE YOU MISSED IT

Alright! It’s time for the 72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards! The Golden Globes are bestowed by the 93 members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, recognizing excellence in film and television. There are 389 separate categories and all of them are for sale! Seriously, a Golden Globe is easier to buy than the host site […]

bedfeature January 10

The Saturday Six: Pretty Amazing Beds

   Doesn’t matter how rich or how poor you are… The bed is the one piece of furniture that makes your house a home… It’s the one thing you look forward too at the end of a long day… It’s the one thing you don’t want to get out of on a cold day… It […]

Image public domain January 08

You Don’t Know How I Feel – All About Windchill

How do they calculate wind chill? I’ll tell you, but I’m also going to tell you that it is bullshit.

movies January 05

Long Awkward Pause Reviews Movies It Hasn’t Seen Yet

The new year is starting and budget is really tight here at Long Awkward Pause. Basically we spent it all on the biggest, baddest, New Years Eve Party ever! (You may have seen it on the news.) Originally we were going to introduce a new segment called: Long Awkward Pause Reviews The Movies  But then the accountants […]

fliesfeature January 03

The Saturday Six: Making Hilarious Art with Dead Flies

  Swedish photographer Magnus Muhr was really bored one day…and also his house was infested with flies. So… You know how the saying goes…when life hands you dead flies, make dead fly art. Just like Muhr and his dead fly art, we have put together some dead fly art of our own,,,in the form of a poem. About […]

newyear January 01

Long Awkward Pause’s Resolution Advice for 2015

If the holiday season wasn’t bad enough for you, don’t forget that it’s not over yet.  The stress and overeating of Thanksgiving that kicks off the month of consumer fetishism doesn’t end when the fat, red-velour-clad toy pimp coke-snorts his way back up your chimney.  The insipid holiday muzak might stop, but the capstone of […]

elderyfeature December 27

The Saturday Six: When You Don’t Care Anymore

  Some people fear getting old. And some people can’t wait. There are some nice benefits to it: discounts, retirement, early dinners, electric scooters, jello, being an extra on those Lifeline Medical Alert commercials, and most importantly, being able to say whatever-the-hell you want, when you want. “Can you believe Bob just said that about […]

holidays December 25

The New Modern Holiday Carol

There is a plague in this country that is far worse than Malaria, Black Death, or even Ebola. And that plague is called Political Correctness. What this blight does is stop people from recognizing that it’s OK to be different. Imagine a world full of the one type of people and culture. How boring. Even the Holidays are […]

lightsfeature December 20

The Saturday Six: Stringing Up The Lights

  Katie was in charge of decorating the office for Christmas this year. She did a really good job. Below are a few of the cubicles she gave the spirit of the Holidays too. Feel free to visit the offices if you would like to see the rest of the staff’s decorations. This is how […]

BAM! There he was! December 18

And here’s that time I was stalked by Santa

If you follow me Facebook or Twitter (probably against your better judgement) then you may have seen this photo taken a few days ago by a security camera at Fred Meyer. Many of you have asked what the story is behind this bizarre image, which some have compared to the famous 1967 footage of Bigfoot […]

awksit December 15

LAP’s Awkward Situation Holiday Gift Guide

It wouldn’t be the holiday season without at least one awkward gift-giving situation that has you completely stumped. Luckily, awkward is pretty much our specialty here at Long Awkward Pause. So without further ado, here’s the very first edition of LAP’s Awkward Situation Holiday Gift Guide.

take-that-young December 14

5 of the WORST Boy Band Lyrics – LAP TV

Introducing LAP TV with your host: Jaclyn! Join her as she counts down the 5 worst boy band lyrics.

christmassweaterfeatue December 13

The Saturday Six: Ridiculously Ugly Christmas Sweaters

   Over the last 10 years or so a couple of new Christmas traditions have come to surface. One being that damn Elf on the Shelf… The second being bad Christmas Sweaters. Don’t get us wrong…bad Christmas Sweaters have been around since Mary knitted Joseph the first one right before Christmas number two was celebrated…but […]

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