Author Archives: Katie

toe ring 2 June 23

An Open Letter to Anyone Wearing Foot Jewelry

  Dear anklet (ankle bracelet) and toe ring wearers, On behalf of the world, I want to inform you that we’re all a little perplexed as to why you’d use accessories to accentuate what is arguably the least sexy part of the human body (unless you have a foot fetish or you like a big […]

LAPpic May 29

LAP Investigates: The Ice Cream Shoppe

Here at LAP, we keep our finger on the pulse of all the latest controversies and sources of political discord. Perhaps the most significant and polarizing issue facing the modern world has come to a head recently, and in an unprecedented exposé, we’ve gone undercover at the very source of the conflict—no, not Ukraine—the local […]

3nd Annual Sean Penn & Friends HELP HAITI HOME Gala - Inside April 14

11 Hypothetical Breakups You Might Actually Care About

By now you’ve probably heard the news that Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are “consciously uncoupling” (which is trendy, new-age speak for “splitting up”) after 10 years of marriage. By now you’ve also probably forgotten all about it because not one part of you remotely cares. Gwyneth Paltrow is awful, and Coldplay is overrated. (…Except […]

Screen Shot 2014-03-12 at 5.40.07 AM March 14

Irish Icon Alternatives to Replace the Shamrock

As a proud second generation half-Irish American, I get very offended every year when St. Patrick’s Day comes around. It sickens me that everyone tries to take advantage of their diluted Irish heritage just to get kisses, that imbeciles think “Patty” and “Paddy” are interchangeable, and worst of all, that the Kelly green shamrock is […]

alec February 24

Capital One Handles Business Like Your Clingy Ex

The LA Times recently posted an article criticizing credit card issuer Capital One (you know, that company you’re always getting junk mail from) for including some distressing stipulations in the recent contract updates it sent out to its cardholders (in a letter they likely didn’t open, because they assumed it was another offer for a line […]

dunce-good.jpg November 20

Guest Post: Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Contribute to Thanksgiving

  Please welcome this month’s Guest Poster Katie from Sass & Balderdash.  Things to know: She’s from Chicago, she’s funny, she likes cheesecake, and her house is made of broccoli.  OK, I lied about one of those things.  She may or may not be from Chicago.  I don’t know. —— It isn’t the road to […]

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