Author Archives: Christopher De Voss

The Original August 16

The Saturday Six: Help Me Catch The Sun!

  There is not a whole lot to say about this Saturday’s Six except it made the office crack up. (Well it made Chris crack up…for hours…like a loony. So much so we almost called an ambulance. He is actually still laughing…on the floor…rolling around. ) This guy asked the internet for help in Photoshopping […]

robin williams August 13

Long Awkward Pause Celebrates Robin Williams

There is no doubt your Facebook/Twitter feeds are currently full of pictures of Mrs. Doubtfire as well as Aladdin and that hilarious genie sharing a heartfelt hug. No secret as of today, Robin Williams is dead. Social media is mourning, the only way Social media can. That’s by sharing animated gifs, frowny emoticons, and pictures of […]

Tubes or Tubey or Tubies. If one of your friends calls them Penne then they are just being pretentious. August 11

Long Awkward Pause’s Tips On Pasta

Pasta. We all love it. Even if someone says they don’t…they secretly do. It’s too multifaceted not to love. It comes in too many shapes and sizes not to love. There are too many sauce choices to go with it, not to love. You can serve it as a side dish. You can serve it as […]

image August 09

The Saturday Six: Cats Copying Models

   We, at Long Awkward Pause, have been complaining for years now about Cats taking over the internet. We first noticed the cat infiltration happening as early as 1973. You see, cats are smart. They are not just trying to take over the internet in a single day. Oh no! They have slowly and methodically, kilobyte by kilobyte taking […]

baby4 August 02

The Saturday Six: Weird Pregnancy Photos

   From that first time peeing on the pregnancy test stick to the final pushing of life from the nether regions of your spouse/girlfriend/baby momma, pregnancy is a joyous and hard celebration of our continuing existence of the human race. Much like other milestones in life, pregnancy has it’s traditional rituals. There is the  buying the ‘What […]

wtf July 26

The Saturday Six: Provocative Doodles

   David Jablow is a multi-media artist who took some suggestive mid-2oth century “doodle pads” and added his own creative flair to them. Remember kiddies, this is back before internet porn. This is what you call: Do-it-yourself-porn. Hopefully you good at drawing…accessories.     Below is the doodle we picked to feature on this week’s SS6 because of […]

headline July 19

The Saturday Six: WTF Headlines

  Grandfather had a special way to fold his newspaper when he read it. It was quite the origami master fold. It was so he could read the paper easier and then end with the jumble puzzle as a treat for getting through the boring political sections. For those unfamiliar with newspapers, they are long […]

statelaws July 12

The Saturday Six: Weird Driving Laws

  If you haven’t seen the show, House of Cards, it’s about the corruption and intrigue behind the nation’s capital. Did we mention it stars a friend of ours? *Name drop in 5…4…3….* Kevin Spacey! In the show…between killing drunk Congressmen, back stabbing the President, fighting the Chinese, and some good old fashion lesbian sex…you get […]

inappfeature July 05

The Saturday Six: Inappropriate Kid’s Notes

   Oh, kids… They are the light of your life, the pain in your neck, the meaning of your existence, and the drain on your pocket book. So when one of your little offspring comes waddling up to you in their little feety pajamas with the back butt flap half buttoned and hands you a […]

themoreyouknow July 03

This Week I Learned

Troy aka Ad-libbed was supposed to post today but went into the hospital for emergency kidney surgery. He is doing well, but will have to stay in the hospital for a couple of days and get his fill of red jello. Please send him some well wishes in the comments section below. In the meantime….Reddit.com […]

meeks June 28

The Saturday Six: Sexy Mugshot Guy

  What does it take to get your 15 minutes of fame on the internet? Apparently some baby blue eyes and five counts of weapon possession and one count of gang related activities. Jeremy Meek’s mugshot went viral after the Stockton Police Department released his mugshot on Facebook. Who knew the police department was so […]

got June 16

Goodbye Game of Thrones Season 4

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Game of Thrones ends another season, and what a season it was! Below is a little tune written to Elton John’s Candle In The Wind to help celebrate last night’s season ending episode. It doesn’t give away too many spoilers, but if you’re not caught up by now…whose fault is that? Goodbye Game of Thrones […]

pombfeature June 14

The Saturday Six: Animal Photo Bombs

 ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ The world is divided up into two categories: Animal Lovers and Animal Haters. The Animal Lovers enjoy all sorts of living creatures. They like the furry ones. They like the slimy ones. They like them in the yard, they like them in the car. They would like to take them to the bar.Yes, Sam […]

penis June 07

The Saturday Six: Bad Children’s Books

  The bed time story… A tradition that is fading fast. Now instead of the bedtime story being read by an ever-tired parent, it’s usually the TV or an iPhone that lulls the child into a deep, deep, slumber. That’s pretty sad. We at Long Awkward Pause are working on an app that will read children’s stories […]

pinterest-boards May 31

The Saturday Six: Truth In Pinterest Boards

  _________________________________________________________________________________________________ Pinterest used to be about knitting, cooking, inspirational quotations, kittens, puppies, weddings, makeup and fashion. That’s when women ruled the Pinterest boards and everything was rainbows and unicorns on rainbows. Men thought Pinterest was stupid and gay… and women and gay people were OK with that. “Let them think that. Stay away from […]

us-map-wallpaper-6 May 24

The Saturday Six: The United States of What?

  _________________________________________________________________________________________________ It’s no secret that the rest of the world is not all that fond of Americans; it’s somewhat rightly deserved. American’s are proud. We are even proud of things we should not be proud of, like the fact that we are #1 in obesity, or #1 in daytime talk show drivel, or even #1 […]

batmanvssuperman May 17

The Saturday Six: Why So Sad, Batman?

     ____________________________________________________________________________________  It was announced that Ben Affleck was going to play Batman in the new movie: Batman vs. Superman. And the internet imploded…Rubix’s Cubes solved themselves…Zebras and Lions started dinning together…fruit cakes started selling in droves… No one wanted Ben Affleck to play Batman. Why? I don’t know. Ben can do brooding and […]

maxresdefault May 14

A Charming Interview With A Snake Whisperer

I hop into John Everhart’s van. No, he didn’t offer me candy. I kind of wished he did, because on the side of this particular van is a picture of John and a rather big, ugly Burmese Python. Over the picture in a font that probably predates the 1970’s  is the moniker; John Everhart Snake […]

businessfeatured May 10

The Saturday Six: Creative Business Cards

    _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ You know what you hardly see anymore nowadays?  Those fishbowl things at the local restaurant that you drop your business card into and win a burrito or free gelato for a week. You know why? Because everyone’s information is online, which means people don’t need to carry business cards anymore. And do you know what […]

waitfeatured May 03

The Saturday Six: Wait…What?

_________________________________________________________________________________________ A parable: Once upon a time there lived a Fox. A very well spoken, very educated Fox. A Fox that enjoyed the finer things in life, like expensive wine, fast cars, barbecued turkey legs, and the opera. One day as the Fox was leaving for work in his 2014 Maserati Granturismo, he noticed that […]

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