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Articles by Christopher De Voss

About Christopher De Voss (132 Articles)
Producer and writer for: LongAwkwardPause.com. Voice over actor, podcaster, writer on various web sites, published author, should not eat cheese but still does. Follow me on twitter: @chrisdevoss

Weird Christmas Ornaments

December 14, 2015 // 13 Comments

While some are at war with Christmas, others are celebrating the new made up holiday of Merry Trumpmas:           The remainder are either pulling out that flame retardant fake Christmas Tree, the one with the bottom row of branches that the factory installed lights won’t come on anymore, but that’s ok. We [Click For More]

Megacon Fan Days 2015 (The Mini Convention That Roared)

December 1, 2015 // 10 Comments

You have been standing in line for an hour. Ahead of you sits three kids wearing pokemon hats, two grown adults dressed as Captain American, four Norman Reedus clones and a partridge in a pear tree. Also, there is someone who looks like a cross between the Incredible Hulk and Spider-man. But you are not sure… You ask him. Yes. He is [Click For More]

South Sobian Tinder

November 16, 2015 // 14 Comments

There is a small country located just south of Siberia called South Sobia. It’s small. It’s poor, but its people are proud. They work hard. They are mostly farmers and bar keeps. In fact, there are almost as many farmers as there are bar keeps. Weird. In the middle of South Sobia is where the library is located, and in the library [Click For More]

Social Saturdays Volume Six

October 31, 2015 // 10 Comments

Welcome to another installment of: Social Saturdays! This is where we find out what the staff members of Long Awkward Pause are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Emailing, Halloweening, and whatever else they maybe doing instead of writing articles. You are probably following most of them anyway…and if you’re [Click For More]

My Interview With A Long Awkward Pause Hater

October 26, 2015 // 18 Comments

Not everybody is going to like what you do, and that’s fine. Art comes in many forms and if we all liked the same style of it, then the world would be a rather boring place. Imagine if nothing but romance novels, country music, 18th century French paintings, and boxed wine were all we had…. I know about 6 of you just said, “Hell [Click For More]

Social Saturdays Volume Five

October 17, 2015 // 22 Comments

Welcome to another installment of: Social Saturdays! This is where we find out what the staff members of Long Awkward Pause are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Emailing, Nipple Tweeking, and whatever else they maybe doing instead of writing articles. You are probably following most of them anyway…and if [Click For More]

Social Saturdays Volume Four

October 10, 2015 // 32 Comments

Welcome to another installment of: Social Saturdays! This is where we find out what the staff members of Long Awkward Pause are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Emailing, Pope Stalking, and whatever else they maybe doing instead of writing articles. You are probably following most of them anyway…and if you’re [Click For More]

Social Saturdays Volume Three

October 3, 2015 // 20 Comments

Welcome to another installment of: Social Saturdays! This is where we find out what the staff members of Long Awkward Pause are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Emailing, Noodling, and whatever else they maybe doing instead of writing articles. You are probably following most of them anyway…and if you’re not, [Click For More]

Mars + Facebook Down = End Of The World

October 1, 2015 // 24 Comments

“There is water on Mars! There is water on Mars!” screamed Lidia, our present secretary here at the offices of Long Awkward Pause. Lidia generally has time for such revelations because all she does all day is check Facebook and play Candy Crush. To her defense, there is not much else to do. We generally do not receive a whole lot of [Click For More]

Social Saturdays Volume Two

September 26, 2015 // 42 Comments

Welcome to another installment of: Social Saturdays! This is where we find out what the staff members of Long Awkward Pause are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Emailing, Night Clubing, and whatever else they maybe doing instead of writing articles. You are probably following most of them anyway…and if you’re [Click For More]

Interview With Actress Stacey Shevlin

September 23, 2015 // 12 Comments

The flight from Orlando to Los Angeles was long. The Flight Attendants would not give me a second bag of pretzels even though I explained to them that I was just traveling for a quick interview of an up and coming Actress/Director/Producer, and I had only a few hours in LA and had to turn immediately back around and fly home to Orlando, Fl. They [Click For More]

Social Saturdays Volume One

September 19, 2015 // 24 Comments

First there was the Saturday Six….and people liked it. And it went on for a year or so. And then the themes starting drying up and the numbers starting dropping, but generally people still liked it. But we at the Pause decided to pull it. We got emails. “Where is the Saturday Six?! There is nothing good on Saturdays! I’m going to [Click For More]

The Sisterwives Mistakenly Interview Us

September 15, 2015 // 25 Comments

There is a group of powerful women writers who have collected together and formed the website: The Sisterwives. Should it be whom have collected? I don’t know. The grammar police will email me soon. They always do. I probably should have paid more attention in English class, but alas I have always run away from the thought of putting words [Click For More]

Shrek – The Sheep That Shorn The Shear

September 14, 2015 // 12 Comments

This is the Sheep, Shrek. Or as he is known to his friends: Shrek the Sheep. He lives in New Zealand and enjoys long walks on the beach, Mai Tais, Three’s Company reruns, and sunsets. What he doesn’t like is getting his hair cut. Shrek hated getting his hair cuts so much that he hid out in a cave for six years to avoid [Click For More]

Back To Ohio – A Report

August 21, 2015 // 10 Comments

I WENT BACK TO OHIO BUT MY CITY WAS GONE THERE WAS NO TRAIN STATION THERE WAS NO DOWNTOWN SOUTH HOWARD HAD DISAPPEARED ALL MY FAVORITE PLACES MY CITY HAD BEEN PULLED DOWN REDUCED TO PARKING SPACES A, O, WAY TO GO OHIO —The Pretenders “My City Was Gone” It was a long drive back, but it was overdue. The trip took 14 hours by car or [Click For More]

Who Doesn’t Want To Date A Droid?

August 17, 2015 // 18 Comments

Her: “Are you ready for our big date tonight? Him: “Getting there…what are you going to wear?” Her: “I’m going to try something new. Cover Girl just came out with this interesting line of makeup. I’m going to give it a shot.” Him: “Oh yeah?” Her: “Yes! I really think you’re [Click For More]

Who Said That?! Lincoln, Trump, or Ramsay

August 10, 2015 // 10 Comments

It’s time to play everyone’s favorite game… Who Said That?! Lincoln, Trump, Or Ramsay How it’s played: In each box will be a quote made famous by either: Beloved 16th President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln: Real Estate Tycoon and running for the GOP nomination, Donald Trump: or TV Chef, Gordon [Click For More]

The Bible Of Secret Fast Food Menus

July 23, 2015 // 16 Comments

In the begining… Harry Synder created In-N-Out Burger, and he said “Let there be burgers and fries and shakes and let it be good.” And the public said it was good. But the public is finicky and demanded special orders, and bun-less burgers, and meatless meats and Harry Synder saw unto this, and created the In-N-Out Burger [Click For More]
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