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7 Must-See Commercial Parodies

 

issue #6

Jean-Claude Van Damme Volvo Commercial

In what can only be considered the work of marketing geniuses, Volvo found a way to equate the most epic of splits with precision steering. And who better to take on the daunting task of traveling spread eagle between two moving semi-trucks than Jean-Claude Van Damme? With “a pair of legs engineered to defy the laws of physics,” Jean-Claude is practically a superhero. Cue Enya…

Along with JC, Channing Tatum is another one of those rare individuals born with exceedingly magical legs. Seriously, have you seen Step Up? The first one, not the last seventeen where a bunch of white kids took to the streets to show they, too, had street cred.

Dove Real Beauty Sketches

The first time I saw Dove’s real beauty sketches I thought, “How moving.” Then I realized that was probably the first time I’d ever seen a sketch artist rendering where the subject didn’t come out looking like the Unabomber.

Below is a shining example of why Dove didn’t ask men to be participants in their study (and every reason why I wish they would’ve).

Slap chop

Anyone who watched the Slap Chop commercial and didn’t immediately want to buy one is kidding themselves. How else could you go from a simple boiled egg and sweet pickle to a chopped egg salad in five seconds flat? If that’s not an exercise is extreme time efficiency, I don’t know what is.

“You’re gonna love my nuts” spawned dozens of Slap Chop parodies. Thanks, Vince!

Sham Wow

Because the Slap Chop wasn’t awesome enough, Vince brought us the Sham Wow. Why use a boring old dishtowel to clean up that mess when you can use a Sham Wow! Shame about that whole punching a prostitute thing, though. Gives new meaning to the phrase “Cat got your tongue?”

Sponges are confusing, nobody knows how to use them, and they kill nearly 13 people every week. True story.

Shake weight

No piece of exercise equipment since the Thighmaster has had such notoriety. Its website should make you check the “Over 18” box to continue.

Out of sheer curiosity and a desire to see if its founder was a gay man, I conducted extensive research to find out the origin of such a brilliant device. According to Google, the Shake Weight was invented by Johann Verheem. Unfortunately, I didn’t find out anything more than that.

The original Shake Weight commercial is practically a parody of itself. Lucky for us, however, South Park took it one step further. Sometimes things are so wrong they become right.

Brad Pitt Chanel No 5 Commercial

This commercial would have been far better had Brad Pitt been speaking French. It’s sort of like when people get stupid shit like Water or Life tattooed on their shoulders in Japanese; you don’t know what it says but it sure looks amazing. Same principle.

Who doesn’t love Leif Garrett? He was the Justin Bieber of his day. I for one cannot WAIT until JB has a receding hair line and needs to do commercial parodies in order to supplement his drug problem.

Cialis

E.D. is no laughing matter. It affects 17 billion men (and some women) in the United States every year. However, if you want to look at the bright side, ladies, it’s probably a surefire way of knowing your man can’t won’t cheat on you.

What’s funnier than erectile dysfunction? Cuba Gooding Jr. with an 18” boner, that’s what.

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About missmelisamae (5 Articles)
Miss Melisa Mae is an avid fan of anything Chuck Norris and vodka. If she could meet Chuck Norris while drinking vodka, all the better. She has a B.A. in B.S. and likes referring to herself in the third person because it makes her feel special. Her mother may or may not have dropped her as a baby.

31 Comments on 7 Must-See Commercial Parodies

  1. So I woke mom up with my laughter at this. In spite of that, there is no real way to describe balls as anything but gross. Because they are.

    Like

    • missmelisamae // April 30, 2014 at 1:29 pm // Reply

      I happened to find the Dove Ball commercial exceptionally funny. Ball talk is always amusing to me. And yes, I’m actually a fully functioning adult.

      Like

  2. These are so funny. I’m not proud of myself for laughing the most at the Slap Chop parody. Think I’ll have to show that one to my teen boys. What a good mom…

    Like

  3. Um, yeah. Had to close my office door because I was laughing my ass off. It is weird that I thought the original commercial with Van Damn (sic) was the funniest of all?

    Also, as a single woman living in LA, I think I need to order a cock shot stat.

    Like

    • missmelisamae // April 30, 2014 at 1:35 pm // Reply

      The best part of the Van Damme commercial is clearly Enya playing in the background. I think I’ll play it on repeat in my office so people will start to see me as “serious” even though I’m really watching videos titled Cock Shot when they aren’t looking. I’m Klassy with a K, baby.

      Like

  4. I think Cialis should hire Cuba Gooding Jr. for the marketing campaigns. His advertisements would probably get more buyers…

    Like

  5. The cock shot one was top notch – I was in tears. I love that slap chop dude, he’s such a num nuts. The whole commercial is a run on sentence.

    “Hi it’s Vince you’re gonna be slapping your breakfast into a can of tuna because you have a boring life stop having a boring tuna and one slap and in two slaps you got tacos for your salad with ice cream it’s easy it’s just one two and it pops open like a butterfly…”

    Funny shit

    Like

  6. excellent post

    Like

  7. These are hilarious! I seriously want a slap chop! Gimme one of those.

    Like

  8. I have been immune to Leif Garrett’s charms for decades, but I think I just became a fan.

    Like

  9. These are hysterical. Who wouldn’t want to “Slapchop” some of those saggy balls. I am receiving the evil eye for laughing so hard. Just can’t help myself.

    Like

  10. Win * 7. so funny!

    Like

  11. Reblogged this on newarray and commented:
    This one is seriously hilarious… OMG, Channing Tatum xD

    Like

  12. Glad I was home alone when I watched this because it would have been too difficult to try to explain what I was laughing about to hubby!

    Like

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