nailfeature August 30

The Saturday Six: Pop Culture Nails

   Nailed it! That’s right…we told a joke that your Great Uncle Herbert or your Dad might tell. It’s not beneath us. We went for the cheap laughs. We will do it again. Hey! No! We do not  feel like we have had enough to drink yet…nor do we feel like we are ruining Little […]

douche August 28

How To Spot a D-Bag on the Highway

It’s inevitable.  You’re comfortable on your morning commute and just about to raise that thermal mug of delightful coffee to your lips for a sip.  From the fast lane, a minivan executes a three-lane kamikaze dive from hell toward the off-ramp.  From the on-ramp preceding it, an SUV careens blindly into traffic as the driver […]

emmy-awards-2014 August 26

A RECAP OF THE 2014 EMMY AWARDS IN CASE YOU MISSED IT

.   7:58p – Billy Bush signs off from the red carpet and I breathe a sigh of relief that I missed Billy Bush talking to people on the red carpet. We’re in commercials and two minutes away from the start of the 2104 Emmy awards on NBC where the executives at NBC will get […]

Megaphone mother yelling at daughter August 25

Parenting teens is easy once you embrace being an embarrassment

Everyone with teenagers please raise your free hand. And by “free” hand, I mean whichever hand isn’t either guarding your wallet or refrigerator door. For parents without a free hand because you are guarding both, don’t worry; we can see it in your eyes. It’s that blank, pleading stare recognized and shared by all parents […]

mtv-video-music-awards-2014-thatgrapejuice-600x338 August 25

A RECAP OF THE 2014 VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS IN CASE YOU MISSED IT

. Alright! It’s time for the 2014 Video Music Awards on MTV because as we all know if you want to music on video, you turn to MTV! Sorry You Tube, MTV is still king of it all! Ahem, anyway, the red carpet pre-show is still going on apparently. Crud, I am early. Oh well, […]

makeup August 23

The Saturday Six: Fake Celebrity Makeovers

   Who doesn’t want to be beautiful? Except Hairless Cats. Instagram is becoming the place for makeup tips and Cleopatra-like beauty transformations. More than 45 million Instagram posts are currently tagged with the word #makeup and/or #makeuptransformation. And what is more empowering than women helping women spend more money at Ulta?   And sure, we admit #6 looks […]

HENRY-ROLLINS-FULL-FRAME-CROPED-FINAL-WEB August 20

The Over The Line Show #8 with Special Guest: Henry Rollins Plus Robin Williams Tribute

On Today’s Show: Special Guest: Henry Rollins wears many hats; a musician, writer, journalist, publisher, actor, radio host, spoken word artist, radio show host, and activist.  Rollins was the front man for the bands, Black Flag and the Rollins Band. He  has also hosted numerous radio shows, television shows, and been in several movies. Rollins has also campaigned for various […]

Herve_Villechaize_1977 August 18

The Greatest Tattoo, Ever

The story of a great moment, told in the rambling style I would use if we were standing in a bar.

The Original August 16

The Saturday Six: Help Me Catch The Sun!

  There is not a whole lot to say about this Saturday’s Six except it made the office crack up. (Well it made Chris crack up…for hours…like a loony. So much so we almost called an ambulance. He is actually still laughing…on the floor…rolling around. ) This guy asked the internet for help in Photoshopping […]

download (1) August 14

The Official Handshake Etiquette Guidebook

Shaking hands is a greeting ritual dating back to the early Neolithic period.  Apparently, somewhere around that time people decided it was more appropriate than licking someone’s face to acknowledge a clan member.  There’s your fun history fact for the day. This custom and its many variations have lead to some confusion after the advent of Instagram, but […]

robin williams August 13

Long Awkward Pause Celebrates Robin Williams

There is no doubt your Facebook/Twitter feeds are currently full of pictures of Mrs. Doubtfire as well as Aladdin and that hilarious genie sharing a heartfelt hug. No secret as of today, Robin Williams is dead. Social media is mourning, the only way Social media can. That’s by sharing animated gifs, frowny emoticons, and pictures of […]

Tubes or Tubey or Tubies. If one of your friends calls them Penne then they are just being pretentious. August 11

Long Awkward Pause’s Tips On Pasta

Pasta. We all love it. Even if someone says they don’t…they secretly do. It’s too multifaceted not to love. It comes in too many shapes and sizes not to love. There are too many sauce choices to go with it, not to love. You can serve it as a side dish. You can serve it as […]

image August 09

The Saturday Six: Cats Copying Models

   We, at Long Awkward Pause, have been complaining for years now about Cats taking over the internet. We first noticed the cat infiltration happening as early as 1973. You see, cats are smart. They are not just trying to take over the internet in a single day. Oh no! They have slowly and methodically, kilobyte by kilobyte taking […]

th August 08

LONG AWKWARD PAUSE PRESENTS: AUGUST 2014 HOROSCOPES

Compiled by Dr. Horatio Jackson-Smyth PhD, Psychic, Sudoku Master, and Crypto-zoologist     August 2014 will be marked simultaneously by the most beneficent and respectively the most dreadful of all astrological aspects. So buckle the f**k up, buttercup! The most dreadful astrological aspect will be the conjunction between Mars and Uranus, which will take place […]

guardians August 07

7 Reasons You Need to See Guardians of the Galaxy

Even though it made $94 million its opening weekend and your one friend who knows a little too much about the Marvel Universe has been begging you to see it, you may still be on the fence about shelling out ten bucks for a ticket and forty dollars on concession stand goods to see Guardians of the Galaxy. Your skepticism […]

covering-eyes August 04

Thanks for the help, Google, but you can stop now

The Internet is a wonderful, magical place filled with mountains of information on every subject you could possibly imagine, but let’s face it: somebody needs to tell Google that there are some things we just don’t want to know. Take, for example, a recent conversation I had with my gracefully-aging but non-net-savvy father about a […]

baby4 August 02

The Saturday Six: Weird Pregnancy Photos

   From that first time peeing on the pregnancy test stick to the final pushing of life from the nether regions of your spouse/girlfriend/baby momma, pregnancy is a joyous and hard celebration of our continuing existence of the human race. Much like other milestones in life, pregnancy has it’s traditional rituals. There is the  buying the ‘What […]

statefood July 31

STATE OF FOOD

One of those fluff pieces that our lamestream media insert into online content to balance out the death, destruction and general asshattery of our elected official buffoons that chokes out our eyeballs like cholesterol in a fat guy’s aorta are common.  One such “article” piqued my interest – Official State foods. At first glance, official […]

bucketlist July 28

Guest Post: Bucket List

    Angelle doesn’t like cilantro, likes inappropriate jokes, and is dating Superman. Donate to her Kickstarter to bring back the monocle and then check out her site: She Drives A Vegetable Car.         You’re about to turn 30. What have you done? 30 is SO OLD. Like, really, really old. You might even remember […]

wtf July 26

The Saturday Six: Provocative Doodles

   David Jablow is a multi-media artist who took some suggestive mid-2oth century “doodle pads” and added his own creative flair to them. Remember kiddies, this is back before internet porn. This is what you call: Do-it-yourself-porn. Hopefully you good at drawing…accessories.     Below is the doodle we picked to feature on this week’s SS6 because of […]

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