IMG_20150627_091645 July 02

L.A.P. Goes To Walker Stalker Orlando

Orlando was invaded. Invaded by zombies. (Wake up the elderly snow birds! They will be the first to be eaten!)

Nedinator Poster 2 July 01

LAP TV Presents: The Nedinator

  First Came The Trailer That Got Everyone Talking: And Then A Second Trailer Was Released… And The Internet Almost Shut Down With Excitement: Then Finally… After Days of Waiting… Which Seemed Like Eternity… It Is Finally Here The Biggest Six Minute And Forty-Eight Second Summer Blockbuster Ever Produced On A Camera Phone… Watch The Full […]

Gyrosphere-sign June 25

Worst Design Ever: Gyrospheres In Jurassic World

This article should not give anything away spoiler wise if you have not seen Jurassic World. Probably. The Gyrospheres in Jurassic World seem like a really cool idea for a theme park ride…at first. If you haven’t seen the movie, the concept of this ride is a self guided protection bubble that allows you to roam […]

Who's your daddy? June 20

Father’s Day – A How-To Guide

Tomorrow is Father’s Day.  Like other important holidays such as Arbor Day or National G-String Day, LAP wants to provide our expert advice to you, gentle reader, on how to properly celebrate Father’s Day with your father.  Here’s how:

crows June 17

15 Regrettable Circumstances That Might Be More Depressing Than Game of Thrones

If you haven’t watched the season finale of Game of Thrones yet – or, more likely, haven’t been spoiled by the Facebook friend who only pauses his political commentary to publicly live-morn the deaths of beloved TV characters he naively assumed were untouchable – chances are you have to wait until one of your benevolent […]

dog June 16

Attention Dog Lovers Who Hate Dead Dogs On Film

Jack actually found this web site, but I stole the story from him. It’s the Internet Movie Database for whether or not a dog is killed in a movie, and it’s called: Does the Dog Die?

160px-Shot_glass_with_Fishermans_friend June 11

Let’s Do Fireball Shots! Bad Idea.

Let’s do Fireball! Yeah! Good idea! Here’s why three of your friends are going to be carrying your drunk ass home.

vienna June 10

LAP TV: Featuring Gunmetal Geisha And Ned Hickson

You never know where a correspondent of LAP is going to show up! Such is the case with Gunmetal Geisha and Ned Hickson. They both can be found directing this month! (Not directing the month…directing in the month….you know what we mean! Stop that!)

david2 June 08

All The Late Night Talk Show Hosts Are Leaving Earth

The faces of late night TV are changing, and they all seem to be changing at the same time. Let’s investigate that.

kung fury June 05

The Future of Movies Has A Name: Kung Fury

Kung Fury hit Kickstarter back on December of 2013. This date will be as important to remember as all other important dates that we are made to remember…such as: There are a few others, but our Google hand is tired already. In an age of 53 gazillion dollar four hour blockbusters, this crowd funded 30 minute […]

fathers-day-present-the-strange-team June 02

Father’s Day gift ideas you can swear by. And so will Dad

Just like Kanye West’s next public outburst, Father’s Day will be here before we know it. That means Dad will once again be wearing new underwear and smelling like he’s been attacked by a cologne salesman (who, in self defense, Dad likely strangled with his new paisley tie.) This year, why not break from tradition […]

funny-Earth-hugging-Mars May 30

This Week On Earth: May 24th – May 30th 2015

Hello Saturday! Let’s take a look back at what was notable in news, internet, and other shenanigans for the week of: May 24th – May 30th 2015

BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND - JULY 14:  Students throw their mortarboards in the air during their graduation photograph at the University of Birmingham degree congregations  on July 14, 2009 in Birmingham, England. Over 5000 graduates will be donning their robes this week to collect their degrees from The University of Birmingham. A recent survey suggested that there are 48 graduates competing for every job.  (Photo by Christopher Furlong/Getty Images) May 29

Graduates: Don’t look back… because your old room is already a hot tub

To this year’s high school graduates: As you cross the stage to receive your diploma, remember that you’re crossing a brand new threshold in your young life. That’s because, in most cases, your parents have already arranged for the contents of your room to be hauled onto the front lawn and sold, probably during the […]

graduation (1) May 27

2015 Advice To Graduates

Howard the manager got a request for a graduation speaker.  I was not his first choice to fill the ticket.  Actually I think he tried to get a guest blogger when the rest of the staff were busy, but the email found my inbox.  He cautioned me about not making a scene or something like […]

earth-from-space May 23

This Week On Earth: May 17th – May 23rd 2015

Hello Saturday! Let’s take a look back at what was notable in news, internet, and other shenanigans for the week of: May 17th – May 23rd 2015   This Is One Way To Make Baseball More Interesting Hey People! Cameras are everywhere! Everywhere! When are you going to realize this? Now we know Baseball is boring…we […]

key1 May 18

Read This Before You Lick Your Keyboard

Fun quiz here, people: one of the most germ-ridden areas of your house is: The toilet Your butthole The TV remote Your keyboard   If you answered A or C, you’re close. If you answered B, you didn’t read the question, unless you happen to live up your own ass. I understand this happens to […]

DWXHNK1431699548 May 16

This Week On Earth: May 10th – May 16th 2015

Hello Saturday! Let’s take a look back at what was notable in news, internet, and other shenanigans for the week of: May 10th – May 16th 2015   Puff, Puff…Can’t Pass…I’m On Satellite If you are on South African television having a debate about the legalization of marijuana, and the opposing side is nipping at […]

week-in-reveiw May 09

This Week On Earth: May 3rd – May 9th 2015

Hello Saturday! Let’s take a look back at what was notable in news, internet, and other shenanigans for the week of:  May 3rd – May 9th 2015   This Is What Happens When You Forget To Put Extra Ketchup In The To Go Bag A crazed (and probably hopped up on the drugs) man enters a restaurant […]

Ned with an advanced copy of  "50 Shades of Time-Traveling Vampire Love." May 07

Part two: LAP interviews self-proclaimed best-selling author Ima Knowitall

As I mentioned in Part I of my Long Awkward Pause interview wth Ima Knowitall, she is the author of more than 40 online novels this past year, and was recently honored by the Society of Illiterate Columnists (SIC) for her contributions to “…the advancement of people who write without the shackles of proper grammar.” […]

image May 05

LAP interviews self-proclaimed best-selling author Ima Knowitall

With the release of her highly anticipated online novel Time-Traveling Vampires of Love just a few days away, I held little hope of getting an interview with Ima Knowitall when I called her private number on assignment for Long Awkward Pause this morning. Knowitall is the author of more than 40 online novels this past […]

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