bucketlist July 28

Guest Post: Bucket List

    Angelle doesn’t like cilantro, likes inappropriate jokes, and is dating Superman. Donate to her Kickstarter to bring back the monocle and then check out her site: She Drives A Vegetable Car.         You’re about to turn 30. What have you done? 30 is SO OLD. Like, really, really old. You might even remember […]

wtf July 26

The Saturday Six: Provocative Doodles

   David Jablow is a multi-media artist who took some suggestive mid-2oth century “doodle pads” and added his own creative flair to them. Remember kiddies, this is back before internet porn. This is what you call: Do-it-yourself-porn. Hopefully you good at drawing…accessories.     Below is the doodle we picked to feature on this week’s SS6 because of […]

iphone6 July 24

Four Hot Rumors About iPhone 6

Looking for the latest rumors on iPhone 6? We’ve got a few you haven’t heard anywhere else.

Yes, Minnesota, even you have reason to fear a Sharknado. July 23

LAP advisory: In the event of a Sharknado, find the nearest catfish noodler

We all know it’s only a matter of time before “The Big One” hits the West Coast, probably somewhere in California first because, let’s face it, they get everything first. The aftershocks will then spread north along Oregon’s coastline, which is exactly where I happen to live. I’ve prepared myself for The Big One as […]

Musical Legend: Weird Al Yankovic July 21

The Over The Line Show #7 with Special Guests: Brooke Burns, Adam Baldwin, and Weird Al Yankovic

On Today’s Show: Special Guests:         Listen to the Show Here:   You can download the episode or listen on the Podomatic App here: http://longawkwardpause.podomatic.com/entry/2014-07-17T09_59_58-07_00 Official PauseCast Page: http://longawkwardpause.podomatic.com/ iTunes Link: Listen Here You can contact Jack or Joe for topic suggestions or to be a guest HERE You can download the podomatic app for your […]

headline July 19

The Saturday Six: WTF Headlines

  Grandfather had a special way to fold his newspaper when he read it. It was quite the origami master fold. It was so he could read the paper easier and then end with the jumble puzzle as a treat for getting through the boring political sections. For those unfamiliar with newspapers, they are long […]

espys July 18

A Recap of The 2014 ESPY Awards In Case You Missed It

The 2014 ESPYS! Parts of this will be difficult to make fun of since the whole premise behind this awards show is not only a self congratulatory love fest for ESPN, but it’s also about raising money for cancer research. So, if you don’t know the story about Coach Jim Valvano, go Google him and […]

July 17

Sharknado 2? Yes, Please

Every generation a movie comes out that helps define an era. My grandparents had Gone With the Wind, my parents had American Graffiti, and this generation we have the one movie to put all other movies to shame… Not since Jaws, has a movie completely captured the true nature of sharks in their never ending […]

image July 14

LAP’s Staff Contest Winner Pictures

Congratulations again to our contest winner, Catherine! She’s the author of the blog, Always a Redhead, and sole proprietor of the only Long Awkward Pause swag on the planet to date.  Well, that is unless there’s another Long Awkward Pause that we’re not aware of that is preparing to spank our butts with a copyright infringement suit […]

statelaws July 12

The Saturday Six: Weird Driving Laws

  If you haven’t seen the show, House of Cards, it’s about the corruption and intrigue behind the nation’s capital. Did we mention it stars a friend of ours? *Name drop in 5…4…3….* Kevin Spacey! In the show…between killing drunk Congressmen, back stabbing the President, fighting the Chinese, and some good old fashion lesbian sex…you get […]

315px-International_Morse_Code.svg July 10

Hip To Be … –.- ..- .- .-. .

Sometimes ironic, sometimes retro-chic, hipsters are the compass that points our culture toward cool. The horn rimmed glasses and skinny jeans have almost become the uniform of the mainstream, wanna-be hipster. Anyone wearing these is usually a poseur to the Nth degree or a model in a J. Crew ad. To keep themselves one step ahead of what society […]

monday-bad-weekend-someecards July 07

51 Thoughts We All Have After a Long Weekend

1. It possibly be Monday already. It was just starting to feel like a mini vacation, and the realization that I have to go back to being me makes me want to give up on life. 2. I’m broke now, so it’s looking like I’ll be living off of that box of Cap’n Crunch that’s […]

inappfeature July 05

The Saturday Six: Inappropriate Kid’s Notes

   Oh, kids… They are the light of your life, the pain in your neck, the meaning of your existence, and the drain on your pocket book. So when one of your little offspring comes waddling up to you in their little feety pajamas with the back butt flap half buttoned and hands you a […]

themoreyouknow July 03

This Week I Learned

Troy aka Ad-libbed was supposed to post today but went into the hospital for emergency kidney surgery. He is doing well, but will have to stay in the hospital for a couple of days and get his fill of red jello. Please send him some well wishes in the comments section below. In the meantime….Reddit.com […]

fireworks July 02

Today’s fireworks: Almost as exciting as burning your old socks

Except for those living in Missouri, where the only fireworks restriction is a requirement that all skyrockets exceeding the length of a standard boat trailer be flagged during transport, most Americans have watched their Independence Day fireworks excitement dwindle from first-strike capability through the 1990s, to today’s wimpy sparklers and fountains with spark-spitting action equal […]

cup June 30

The World Cup: Origins

So, what is that thing that happens on TV every four years that no one cares about when it isn’t on? No! Not the Olympics! Yes! The World Cup! In this, the first in a series of features in which I feature a series of how certain things came to be and/or live and exist […]

meeks June 28

The Saturday Six: Sexy Mugshot Guy

  What does it take to get your 15 minutes of fame on the internet? Apparently some baby blue eyes and five counts of weapon possession and one count of gang related activities. Jeremy Meek’s mugshot went viral after the Stockton Police Department released his mugshot on Facebook. Who knew the police department was so […]

June 26

22 Books That Should Be On Everyone’s Summer Reading List

Summer has officially arrived and so marks the beginning of a season filled with travel, lying around poolside, and day drinking. Lots of day drinking. Summer is also a time for self-reflection and relaxation. When grabbing a book and hitting the beach or sitting out in the yard are not only possible, but encouraged. But […]

J. Crew catalog June 24

If Straight Guys Named the Colors in the J. Crew Catalog

When it comes to the creative naming of colors, gay men and the J. Crew catalog have got it on lock. Have you ever read a J. Crew catalog? Their sweater shades are not simply “red,” “green,” or “yellow.” Beige is “Carribean Sand.” Navy blue is “Night Shadow,” and so on. I once worked at a […]

toe ring 2 June 23

An Open Letter to Anyone Wearing Foot Jewelry

  Dear anklet (ankle bracelet) and toe ring wearers, On behalf of the world, I want to inform you that we’re all a little perplexed as to why you’d use accessories to accentuate what is arguably the least sexy part of the human body (unless you have a foot fetish or you like a big […]

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