One-Direction-American-Music-Awards-2014 November 28

A RECAP OF THE 2014 AMERICAN MUSIC AWARDS IN CASE YOU MISSED IT

It’s time for the American Music Awards! Where America honors music because freedom! All awards are hatched by bald eagles and stored inside the Statue of Liberty until the ceremony. Actually, The American Music Awards were created by Dick Clark in 1973 for ABC when the network’s contract to present the Grammy Awards expired. Unlike […]

thanksgiving2014 November 27

A Long Awkward Pause Thanksgiving 2014

  The staff of Long Awkward Pause would like to take a moment to wish you and your family a very happy and safe Thanksgiving. We would also like to thank you, the readers of the website, the followers on Twitter and Tumblr, the Facebook viewers, and the podcast listeners. So, as we gather around […]

November 26

Report: Millennials Staying at the Kids’ Table Longer

Corroborating with statistics that show Millennials are living at home in their parents’ basements longer than previous generations, a new study released by researchers at Cornell University found that a startling 89% of Millennials plan on staying at the Thanksgiving kids’ table for as long as possible. “Whether the constituents of the kids’ table were […]

caryelwes__140613003623 November 25

The Over The Line Show #10: Guests Cary Elwes and Bar Rescue. Music By Craymo

On Today’s Show: We are talking Bill Cosby controversy as well as to actor Cary Elwes from Glory, Saw, and Princess Bride. Also on the show, the producer of Spike TV’s: Bar Rescue This episodes musical guest: Craymo. Be Myself by Orlando indie singer/songwriter Craymo is an anti-bullying pop anthem about embracing individuality and having […]

wine memecentercom November 24

Long Awkward Pause’s Holiday Wine Buying Guide

Ahhh, it’s that time of year again.  All those drunken family get-togethers, work events, neighborhood gatherings all filled with merriment, dancing, and probably a decent amount of debauchery. Holidays?  Heck, that was my last weekend. The holidays can be a very stressful time.  Maybe you have to think of an excuse for skipping out on the family […]

food6 November 22

The Saturday Six: Playing With Your Food

  The Food Network has been playing on the office TV a lot this month. BrainRants really likes that channel and well…we try not to mess with him or his TV time too much when he is in a good mood. And he has been in a good mood! So we let him watch his […]

shopping November 20

Male Aversion To Holiday Shopping Linked To Survival Instinct

It’s an American tradition: Kicking off the holiday shopping season by spending the morning after Thanksgiving standing in line at your favorite department store, shivering in the pre-dawn hours, determined to be among the first to get through the doors before your holiday dinner bowel movement hits. It’s a calculated risk, but one we are […]

hollywood_film__awards_766x432 November 17

A RECAP OF THE 2014 HOLLYWOOD FILM AWARDS IN CASE YOU MISSED IT

And now it’s time for what CBS is desperately trying to market as “The first awards show of the season”, yes it’s the “Hollywood Film Awards.” What the hell are The Hollywood Film Awards? Well, it seems that the Hollywood Film Awards began in 1997 but tonight is the first time they have ever been […]

buscemi163532861 November 15

The Saturday Six: She’s Got…Steve Buscemi Eyes

  Even if you think you don’t know who Steve Buscemi is…you know him. He is one of those actors whom you have seen in many different films and when he pops up in the movie, you say, “Oh yeah…that guy! He’s good! And creepy! But still good!” This is Steve Buscemi: He usually plays sleazy, […]

3561390ca65cdea4fcc127f4b3ca0bb4 November 13

LONG AWKWARD PAUSE PRESENTS: NOVEMBER HOROSCOPES 2014

November 2014 Horoscopes – Compiled by Dr. Horatio Jackson-Smyth PhD, Psychic, Netflix Subscriber, and Crypto-zoologist November 2014 will be a complex month, inconsistent and tough. Mars and Pluto will be together in Capricorn – a strong, determined combination, which will admirably focus on goals but which does not joke around and can generate radical, shocking, destructive […]

JerryThomas01 November 10

A Bar Joke That Nearly Was

A priest, a lawyer and a blogger walk in to a bar. So, yeah.

starwars November 09

The Over The Line Show #9: Foods New To Joe Plus Star Wars. Music By AJ In Evolution

On Today’s Show: The boys talk TV, Star Wars, and foods that are common to the world…but new to Joe. Make sure to weigh in on the Root Beer Candy poll in the comments below! This episodes musical guest: A.J. in Evolution. Find his music here:http://ajinevolution.bandcamp.com. The song featured is off the album: Bare Bones. […]

sexyfeat November 08

The Saturday Six: Animals That Think They Are Sexier Than You

   Everyone wants to feel sexy. Even your pets. I kind of envy the animal kingdom in the fact that they don’t have to worry about dressing up fancy, buying fancy perfume, putting on fancy makeup, and/or shaving various parts of their fancy body. They just kind of go out, make a noise, and see […]

dogfeatured November 06

Intercultural Misunderstandings in the Dog World

  Welcome today’s Guest Poster: Ellen Hawley. A former New Yorker, now living in the land of Cornwall. That’s in the U.K. in case your geography is super bad. Her blog can be found at  Notes from the U.K. , which talks about such New York to England differences. She is the author of two novels,Open Line […]

unnamed (2) November 03

Candy Corn: An Addict’s Story

Every year I cycle through what some people like to call, “Falling Off the Wagon.” Yes, dear LAP audience, it’s true.  My name is BrainRants, and I’m a candycorn-aholic. It started as a kid. A small bag here, a few handfuls there.  They were dropped innocently into my pillowcase by well-meaning people as I trick […]

dollampfeatured November 01

The Saturday Six: Weird Kid’s Toys

   The innocence and bill free days of childhood…. If we could only go back for one day… A day filled with Chuck E Cheese and Christmas and Easter and Birthday Parities and late night scary movies on channel 10 with your best friend… But we can’t. Right now, you are actually late for work […]

peanut October 30

Mr. Peanut – Behind The Monocle, Pain

Mr. Peanut. He’s a great guy, but he’s got a flaw that leaves him vulnerable. Here’s how you can help.

DSC02099 October 27

5 Last Minute DIY Halloween Costumes (For People Who Suck at DIYing)

Halloweek is upon us, and there are just five days left to find a distinctive costume that reflects your true Halloween self. Will you wear a cheesy couples costume? Will your areolas be visible? Will you be that person at a party who wears your normal, ugly clothes and makes a point of telling everyone, […]

pumpkinfeature October 25

The Saturday Six: Epic Pumpkin Mannequins

   This whole month we have been talking about pumpkins. Some of us…hate them. Some of us…mildly tolerate them. One of us is excited for Christmas already. While most of the country is busy bitching about Pumpkin Spice and the other Spice Girls, and carving the traditional square, square, triangle, half moon with teeth into […]

Love_by_SillyPuttyEnemies October 24

Weird Things We Do For Love

It was 103º in July and I was driving 300 miles to see the snowboarding mountain upstart with the chiseled chin and smoldering gaze I’d met on the slopes a few months earlier. My heart was a restless puppy jumping in my throat. Forty miles into my drive, my 20-year-old Corolla’s temperature gauge was in […]

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