clock1 October 05

How To Slow Down Time

It’s not only that time goes by so quickly or our attention spans are low. It’s context. Within a two-week period, we jump from a summer state-of-mind to fall just because Costco decides it’s time to sell Halloween stuff right after 4th of July. I see Halloween orange and black, and I immediately think Thanksgiving, […]

social-media-cube-1024x922 October 03

Social Saturdays Volume Three

Welcome to another installment of: Social Saturdays! This is where we find out what the staff members of Long Awkward Pause are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Emailing, Noodling, and whatever else they maybe doing instead of writing articles. You are probably following most of them anyway…and if you’re not, you should…but here is one handy […]

sun image October 02

Breaking News: This Spectacular Astronomical Event Visible Today Will Rival Sunday’s Lunar Eclipse

Last Sunday night, many of you have watched a rare full lunar eclipse, which coincided with the Supermoon, blood moon, and harvest moon. In fact, according to Nielsen Research, the eclipse had been watched by more people than any other show on Sunday night, reaching about 22.7 million viewers and 18.4% Nielsen rating. Of course, […]

wateronmars October 01

Mars + Facebook Down = End Of The World

“There is water on Mars! There is water on Mars!” screamed Lidia, our present secretary here at the offices of Long Awkward Pause. Lidia generally has time for such revelations because all she does all day is check Facebook and play Candy Crush. To her defense, there is not much else to do. We generally […]

pickles September 30

Over the Line Show #23 The Trouble With Pickles

On Today’s Show: Topics include Joe’s Plastic Car Accident, The Cream Puff Eating Contest, Jessie Makes The Podcast, Facebook goes Down and the Dislike Button, Volkswagon Determined Not To Be Edible, FiFA Cleaning House, Flowers For Trump, TV News, Weird News!, Water On Mars

interesting_nifty_funny_amazing_warning_signs_09200907241413412304 September 28

Warning labels could be impeding the Natural Selection process

There was a time when manufacturers included warnings on their products as a way to provide useful information that could potentially save our lives. Or, at the very least, our eyebrows and/or stomach lining. However, that all changed more than a decade ago when McDonald’s had to serve up a McMillion dollars to the woman […]

sm2 September 26

Social Saturdays Volume Two

Welcome to another installment of: Social Saturdays! This is where we find out what the staff members of Long Awkward Pause are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Emailing, Night Clubing, and whatever else they maybe doing instead of writing articles. You are probably following most of them anyway…and if you’re not, you should…but here is one […]

Gay-Doritos September 24

Over the Line Podcast #22 Publicity On The Back Of Gay Doritos

On Today’s Show: Topics include the Columbus Clippers champions of the universe, fantasy football, Scott Walker drops out, 67th Emmy’s recap, Arnold Schwarzenegger takes over the Apprentice, the View angers the nurses, The hygienist runs the show, Jackie Collins, Rainbow Doritos, The Target Help Desk Troll, New Star Trek movie, Princess Leia metal bikini up […]

b5d9a9354e9d03723413c48e092ac614 September 23

Interview With Actress Stacey Shevlin

The flight from Orlando to Los Angeles was long. The Flight Attendants would not give me a second bag of pretzels even though I explained to them that I was just traveling for a quick interview of an up and coming Actress/Director/Producer, and I had only a few hours in LA and had to turn […]

edit September 21

New Cat Study Reveals Fluffy Is All About “The Get”

In an explosive new study by the University of Lincoln (Abe? Nebraska? Mercury?), findings show that cats are not like dogs. Cat lovers, hissing and arching their backs, quickly pushed back. Pet stores report a run on the drug, CatNip, as cat owners storm their stores, demanding staff hand over their personal stash. Employees were physically abused […]

Hand drawn vector illustration set of social media sign and symbol doodles elements. Isolated on white background September 19

Social Saturdays Volume One

First there was the Saturday Six….and people liked it. And it went on for a year or so. And then the themes starting drying up and the numbers starting dropping, but generally people still liked it. But we at the Pause decided to pull it. We got emails. “Where is the Saturday Six?! There is […]

A3G91 September 16

Over the Line Podcast #21 Zsa Zsa Gabor Outlives The World!

On Today’s Show: Topics include Cell phone fines, the Circle of New Tires, Reality TV Show Gambling, Steven Colbert Report Card, New Fall TV 2015, The Queen, New Game: Who Dies First Zsa Zsa Gabor Or…., Comic Strips You Don’t Care About, Super Mario Turns 30, Donald Trump vs Carly Fiorina, The Huckster vs Survivor

source: September 15

The Sisterwives Mistakenly Interview Us

There is a group of powerful women writers who have collected together and formed the website: The Sisterwives. Should it be whom have collected? I don’t know. The grammar police will email me soon. They always do. I probably should have paid more attention in English class, but alas I have always run away from […]

source: September 14

Shrek – The Sheep That Shorn The Shear

This is the Sheep, Shrek. Or as he is known to his friends: Shrek the Sheep.   He lives in New Zealand and enjoys long walks on the beach, Mai Tais, Three’s Company reruns, and sunsets. What he doesn’t like is getting his hair cut. Shrek hated getting his hair cuts so much that he hid out […]

gr motorcycle ad page 25 - Copy - Copy September 10


As we discussed in Part One of “Revisiting Classic Comic Book Adverts” , comic books in the 1970’s and early 1980’s were an immense treasure trove of some of the greatest advertisements ever conceived by men. Men who were obviously on drugs. The ads in the middle of comic books were often times more entertaining […]

Fozzie_bear September 09

Over the Line Podcast #20 Dancing With The Starless

On Today’s Show: Topics include I have your back maybe, The trouble with ordering Poker party food, Carry out tipping etiquette, Fall sports, Coach is fired after one episode, Galaxy Quest comes to TV, The Muppets and Kermit the Frog’s new swine american controversery, Backstreet Boys vs All Other Boy Bands, Season Premiers, The Starship […]

Listen Vs. Ignore - Toggle Switch September 07

Ten Current Topics That Are Taking Over Our Lives

  People tend to believe they are master minds, however, eventually the stuff they bring to the table has been created by using 2500 different recipes, and unfortunately, people just don’t want to consume it any longer. Here is a list of topics that are just taking over our lives: 

football September 04

Our passion for football could get us hurt here at LAP

Like millions of red-blooded, unathletic men across America, I will now be spending a good portion of my Saturdays sitting on the couch, eating handfuls of assorted snack foods and whining every time a player from my team makes even the teeniest mistake. It doesn’t matter that these men are performing feats of athletic skill […]

aziz September 02

Over the Line Podcast #19 Aziz Ansari Get Off My Chipotle Bag

On Today’s Show: Topics include Newsroom being canceled, fantasy football draft and getting warm water, superman dissected, Wes Craven RIP, death hoax week, McDonalds/Burger King peace treaty burger, awkward foot long hot dogs, Alaska mountain naming trouble, homeless Phoebe from Friends

oxforddictionary August 31

Word Has It

One fun annual event you might be unaware of is the Oxford English Dictionary’s release of new words. This announcement always entertains. At the same time, it can be frightening because you can think of it as a thermostat of how fast we’re dumbing the hell out of ourselves. Srsly. But on to the awesomesauce! […]


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